The real reason a certain cricket ‘tournament’ is farcical

Bangladesh continues to astound the world by arranging its yearly cricket-torturing programme.

The programme that started in 2012 has just turned over its ninth leaf yesterday with a view to torturing not only cricket, but also cricket fans.

The organisers wait the whole year very patiently for this precious moment when they leave no stone unturned to ensure that neither cricket nor its fans survive till the next year's special programme.

Everyone was perplexed about why this programme was held every year till they finally got an explanation on Thursday.

"It's actually a part of our secret mission to popularise our football again. We are employing the inverse model of irritation-popularity, that is, we annoy everyone by arranging a cricket tournament that is so trash that it will make people determined to not watch cricket again. The trasher the cricket, the greater the chance that people will get back to football. Then it will Kazi Bhai's problem, he can keep this award," Aapon, the CEO of Bangladesh Cricket Torturing Program (BCTP), said.

With this explanation, it became clear how brilliant BCTP's plan was. The organisers, who consist of several individuals who know politics better than cricket, have been keeping their focus on point -- organising this programme, or you can call it a "tournament", in the worst possible manner. The real competition, it is now obvious, is to outdo themselves every year by creating a "tournament" that is more ridiculous than the previous year's one.

Just like the real reason behind the terrible nature of the "tournament" is actually a noble one, most of the things that make the tournament terrible are in place for noble causes.

Dujon, one of the prominent organisers, said, " We aren't aimless like you guys. We use substandard cameras so that the eyesight of our countrymen improves as they strain to see the details. We exclude all modern technology so that Bangladeshis don't get harmed. We allow annoying sponsors so that our countrymen don't buy products of these annoyers.

"We use inexperienced umpires so that even cricketers don't miss out on the entertainment while playing cricket. We use inexperienced commentators so that the viewers turn their television's sound off, which helps reduce sound pollution. The ultimate goal of all these things is just making people averse to cricket and eventually making football great again."

With this revelation, the people who used to criticise the organisers have suddenly become their fans.

"I want to apologise for what I said before regarding this tournament. The efforts they are making for the most awaited resurrection of our dying football should not be unappreciated. Yes, sir. Keep torturing cricket. Here we come, 2026 Football World Cup," Nafis, a football fan in the disguise of a cricket fan, said while keeping his hands in pyramid shape right in front of his chest