Satireday
Chinito Since 1995 / In search of an apt pasture to graze
There is a reason why you do not see me singing on television.
Citizens to store natural emissions to beat rising gas prices
Things have been pretty bleak in Fapa city. With the Russia-Ukraine war tumbling down on the world’s economy, gas prices have increased by 88 percent in the country just within a year.
Readers’ corner / ‘Country first, company second, culture somewhere’
Rabindranath, not the Bard of Bengal, began an internship at a renowned local company in quest of the actual essence of corporate culture. He studied BBA to keep up with the trends, but now he regrets doing so.
Chintito Since1995 / No way out for the poor
Relaxing on the deck of his 50-metre yacht, off the Grand Resort Lagonissi in Athens, a quadrillionaire was sipping on his orange juice before a late breakfast. It was spiked with a dash of lemon and fresh mint sprigs.
Cartoonist has nervous breakdown when asked to draw empty goalpost
A cartoonist in the Chapasthani capital of Chapa on Thursday suffered a nervous breakdown when she was asked to draw a satirical cartoon of an empty goalpost.
Motivational speakers at a loss after 12th Fail
“As soon as the movie ended, I opened my laptop and applied for BCS at the eleventh hour,” Munna, who recently promised to himself to be a cadre if someone like Shraddha invaded his life like a bolt from the blue, said after being heavily inspired by the movie 12th Fail.
Lessons hardly learnt
In the summer just gone by, in the days of sweating in 40 degrees Celsius, I was extremely comfortable that finally we have started bathing regularly, wearing clean clothes and possibly using some sort of deodorant.
Dhaka bikers block entrance/exit to city roads as symbol of protest
Yesterday, an ambulance could not get onto the expressway ramp near Tejgaon because motorcyclists were blocking the road on the left as traffic came to a slow crawl.
Assistant manager who threatened to resign 7 times made assistant deputy manager
An assistant manager in a local corporation has broken records by threatening to quit his position seven times in one day if he wasn’t given a promotion.
Keep sports clean of politics
When we were young, that for some of us is a long time ago; so long ago that you may need binoculars to see the 1960s. A magazine was published then, from most probably Karachi, Sports Times, I am trying to recollect. It was so long ago that today’s net search has zero relevant hits for that title and era. Unfaded in human memory, however, for the last over sixty years is the mast slogan of that very popular publication, “Keep sports clean of politics”.
Economic success now defined by how often men change the colour of their car
Economists worldwide have ditched traditional metrics like GDP that were always used to identify prosperity of a nation. It is no longer in fashion. Woke activists have been especially relieved now that the GDP (Gross Domestic Product) concept has been thrown out the window because they find it offensive to have the word “Gross” in their regular conversation. But also, a new theory is now in place.
Palesreal the only solution, says privileged American
The current crisis in the middle east has a simple solution: Palesrael.
Celebrities of Bangladesh offering support
Celebrities all across Bangladesh and other fortunate places under the Guava Convention have come together to offer support. They have held a demo kabaddi match as a press conference to show that they are concerned.
5 things to do when there is a Bangladesh match on TV
You know there is a Bangladesh match on. You’ve cleared up your schedule, it’s a world cup match after all. Eight hours with nothing to do but lean back and enjoy the men in green in action.
Getting out to avoid cheating; Australia to Bangladesh’s rescue
The following is a roundup of World Cup news, real and imagined. More imagined than real. Actually, it’s all imagined.
Four friends travelling from Khulna perish from starvation in Dhaka traffic gridlock
Last Wednesday Mishap Talukder of Khulna set out on a road trip to the capital with his three best friends. They were celebrating their recent financial gains from a startup pyramid scheme called RiverValley. Their startup gained rave reviews where people spent money to buy little pyramids all across Bangladesh, Mongolia and the moon and name each pointy structure after their beloved.
Politician wins Nobel in literature for artistically insulting opposition
A politician from Chapasthanhas won the Nobel Prize in literature in recognition for his artistic way of insulting opposition leaders during speeches.
He’s stealing my moves, cricket chief says after captain’s controversial interview
A recent TV interview by a current captain of a certain international cricket team has taken a drama-addicted fanbase by storm, and the chief of that particular country’s cricket board is insecure because he suspects the interview was a clear sign of the captain’s plan to take over his job.
Man cuts down on junk food only to be shunned by society
Society has once again done what it was created to do: shun the minority. Young Facebook reels entrepreneur Rayhan Haythere is upset because society has recently been upset with him.
Scientist invents instant transmission to alleviate VIP movement-related frustration
Dr Impossibru Patwary, a physicist working at the Chetona Innovation Labs at Palashi University, claims to have invented a device that can help individuals transmit their bodies instantly across short to medium distances.
Bangladeshi toddler named in Shorbes 3 under 3
Azlazin Zafriath, a two-year-old from Dhaka, has been named in the prestigious Shorbes 3 under 3 2023 list.
