Satireday
Rags-to-riches actor to start making arthouse films to win over tri-state residents
Gone are the days of sending five gangsters flying with one kick, said film actor Sayam Chowdhury, popular among the tasteless poor.
Accusing Threads of copying Twitter, Elon Musk threatens to block thoroughfares
“If he cannot make something original, why doesn’t he just leave this country and go to China?” Elon Musk said in acute rage while alleging that Mark Zuckerberg copied his Twitter to make Threads.
Actor-politician Alan: Man of Courage, beaten for filming films
Politics is a difficult subject to master mostly because it is not offered as a Master’s degree subject … you know, the kind of real politics that end up with two ministers on a talk show slapping each other. Or members of parliament in office kick boxing each other. Or political aspirants fighting each other at voting centres.
Poor man tries to pull himself up by his bootstraps, boots fall apart
Intriguing events unravelled last Tuesday, as Azib-o-Garib, Minister for Poverty, visited a slum in the capital’s Dogargaon area.
Employee who fell asleep sues company over loss of productivity
Akmar Crimer, an employee at The Everyday Stare Agency for Beautiful People, filed a motion against his company for failing to keep him awake at office meetings.
Forgotten film actor’s dance moves mistaken for heart attack
In a bizarre incident last week, semi-notable TV and film actor Jaded Kzan found himself rushed to the hospital after attempting to showcase his dance moves at a party. Clad in black faux leather, the actor was socialising with other guests when he suddenly contorted his body, convulsed, collapsed and crumpled to the floor, seemingly burdened by the weight of his recent IELTS preparation for a trip to the United States.
Introvert who can’t carry conversation shouts ‘that’s crazy’ in every reply
Even at the age of 26, Syeda Chupchap Komkotha, a recent university graduate, struggles to socialise. It’s not like she isn’t interesting or doesn’t have quirky insights to share, it’s more of a general disinterest towards other human affairs.
Conspiracy theorist in shock after learning the real truth
“Conspiration nation, you don’t know the real truth but I do, and you won’t believe it but I have done that hard work for you so listen up!” — is how famous Twitch streamer and YouTuber, Sacchi Mucchi, popularly known as DeyBLyin, would begin most of his videos.
Dhanmondi Lake insecure as entire Dhanmondi becomes a lake
Thanks to poor drainage systems and infrastructure, residents of the capital no longer need to visit Cox’s Bazar to feel waves of water crashing at their feet.
Buff man furious that fat-shaming is not allowed, goes back to binge eating
Paul O’wan, an Irish Bangladeshi fitness instructor and social media personality, has made headlines with a sudden change in lifestyle. The reason behind it raised even more eyebrows, even though it failed to raise weights.
Diplomats to receive negotiation training from aunties
With so many global issues impacting the locals, including climate change, river crisis and resource depletion, the country’s foreign service has hatched a plan to effectively train a new generation of diplomats to be able to hone essential bargaining skills.
Mango people can no longer afford homes, only avocado people can
“I just got married and realised I have to live on my own to avoid my life becoming a Hindi soap. But my salary as a Marketing Marketer only allows me to rent one bedroom and half a bathroom.”
Interview: Hatirjheel resident becomes most run over person in history
“The first time was in 2019 when I was a rising TikToker. Our production crew was shooting a classy remake of Hritik’s hit dance move from Krish. Instead of Krish, we had a crash. A motorbike rider, also filing a TikTok landed on me.”
Concertgoers honoured with medals of heroism
The city recently witnessed an epic concert featuring a YouTube sensation from our neighbouring country. Tickets sold out faster than you could say “barbecue sauce,” because the people realised the only other thing they can do in this city is to go to a food shop and eat concoctions dipped in barbeque sauce. Either that or visit a bridge.
HR head angry at rain for inspiring office workers to go home on time
Our city, akin to Singapore in many ways, has been experiencing a temperature spike over the last three weeks. The temperature was determined to keep climbing, making many wonder if the city was becoming the new Dubai.
Impacted by loadshedding, joint families decide to break up
An alarming case has propped up in the capital recently, faced with surging rates of loadshedding. Forced to spend a lot of time together in the sweltering heat, and at times in complete darkness, joint families are deciding to live separately as the truth getting spilled has spilled bad blood among members.
Tobacco company angered as low air quality makes their products useless
In a joint statement signed by Churut International (CI), tobacco companies expressed their disappointment at the rapidly deteriorating air quality in Dhaka and adjacent areas of the country.
Preparation for Los Angeles ’28
The Chapasthan government has started a new initiative in its capital of Dhoka with an aim to prepare the future athletes for athletic events in the Los Angeles Olympics in 2028.
Marks and Sponsor, Life and Living post record profits
Marks and Sponsor Limited (M&S) and Life and Living Group of Company’s (LLG) profits rose respectively by 17.75 percent and 20.25 percent year-on-year in the last financial year.
‘Marriage aspirants’ joining ‘Chirokumar Sova’ after decision on marriage tax
The Dhoka West City Corporation (DWCC) has taken the notion of thinking outside the box to another level.
Real seek entry into Farmgate coaching centre after failing English test
Real Madrid players have reportedly come to Bangladesh hoping for admission to a well-known coaching centre of Farmgate after they failed their English test, held in Etihad exam hall on English soil.
