All that I shouldn’t have known

What I wish I didn't know is that when your dear friends whisper the word "psycho" behind your back, you'll grow up accepting it. / I wish I didn't know that cats sometimes eat their newborns for nutrients and that human beings sometimes kill their daughters when they are born; that, I wish I knew why. / I wish I didn't have to know that parents grow old and at some point, we're meant to take care of the child version of them and not the other way around. / I wish I didn't know that would make me angry (don't ask me why). / I wish I didn't know that when you don't have a parent, everyone tries to be your missing parent; they would somehow know what's best for you even though they were never around and they hardly know you; and would point out all the ways your missing parent failed to "parent the right way" because they were away most of the time (figuratively or literally). But what they don't know is that your missing parent taught you everything you needed to know to survive before they went missing—either themselves or by being away. Regardless, you turned out great. / But, I really wish I didn't have to know what it's like to be in what is now half of what was once a beautiful and happy home.
I wish I didn't know that beautiful flowers wither sometimes even after a rainy day. / And that some of those magnificent looking flowers stink–because, well, what a waste. / And I wish I didn't know that when you give up yourself to make a home in the palm of someone's hands, your home is bound to wash away. And you'll end up trying to build that same home forever.

"All that I shouldn't have known" is one of the winning entries from this month's Khero Khata prompt.

Maisha Syeda is a writer, painter, and lecturer at North South University.