February — the month of love, romance, and watching your bank balance suffer a slow and painful death. You thought a single Valentine's Day was enough to showcase your undying affection? Foolish mortal. Love is no longer a one-day affair; it's an entire week-long economic investment, a grand heist on your finances cleverly disguised as romance.
Welcome to Valentine's Week, where love isn't measured in heartfelt gestures but in roses, chocolates, stuffed animals, and empty wallets. Let's take a moment to navigate this capitalist pilgrimage, shall we?
7th February - Rose day: The floral inflation begins
Nothing screams "I love you" like a flower that will be dead in three days. One would think the price of roses is dictated by the stock market, the way it skyrockets every February. Last week, a dozen cost Tk 300; today, it's Tk 3,000. You have two choices: buy the roses and question your life decisions, or hear the comparisons on how Shadab, Amina's boyfriend, got her bouquet of flowers along with a heartfelt Facebook status on her wall. Nothing screams louder than an over-compensation from a Facebook status.
8th February - Propose day: Hope you saved for a ring
Society has now allocated a specific day for declarations of love, because, clearly, spontaneous romance was getting out of hand. It's Propose day, where if you don't bend the knee and produce a ring worthy of a Khalessi, your love is clearly weak. A simple "Will you be my Valentine?" will suffice if you're lucky. If not, well, congratulations, you just got engaged on a random Tuesday.
9th February - Chocolate day: A sweet, sweet scam
Remember when chocolates were an innocent delight? Not this month. That 200-gram bar that usually costs TK 150 taka is suddenly packaged in a heart-shaped box and now costs Tk 750. Because nothing says "eternal devotion" like overpriced cocoa. If love was meant to be sweet, it shouldn't taste like a financial massacre.
10th February - Teddy day: Because adults need soft toys
The only time you should be gifting a teddy bear is to your five-year-old niece on her birthday. Yet here we are, wrapping up overpriced stuffed animals with "I Love You" stitched on their bellies like it's an ancient love ritual, for your grown-up working partner. If you're going to throw money at something pointless, at least get a pillow — you'll need it to cry into after successfully keeping up with the trend.
11th February - Promise day: The lies we tell ourselves
Ah yes, a day to make promises — ones that will likely not survive past Valentine's Day. "I promise to always be by your side," someone says today, only to be seen ghosting their partner by March. The real promise we should all be making is to stop spending money on pointless traditions.
12th February - Hug day: When personal space ceases to exist
Imagine a whole day dedicated to awkward side-hugs. Let's pretend this is meaningful and not just another excuse for couples to remind single people what they're missing.
14th February - Valentine's day: The grand finale
And finally, the main event. If you've managed to survive this wallet-purging obstacle course, congratulations! You are now required to make a grand gesture, something Instagram-worthy, because if your love isn't posted online, does it even exist? By now, you've spent enough to fund a small business (another custom t-shirt venture), all in the name of romance.
By the 15th of February, everything returns to normal. Lovebirds stop acting like they're in a Bollywood movie, breakups start rolling in, and the shop that sold you those absurdly priced roses drops them to half price overnight.
Love is expensive, and so is stupidity
Love, at its core, is free. It doesn't need themed days, overpriced teddy bears, or chocolates that cost as much as a down payment on a rickshaw. But capitalism disagrees, and so, every February, we collectively lose our minds and wallets in the name of love.
So, to those who are struggling to keep up — just remember, true love doesn't demand an eight-day spending spree. Sometimes, the best way to show you care is to simply be there. And if that's not enough? Well, maybe they just wanted the chocolates all along.
Happy Valentine's Week, and may your finances rest in peace.
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