Riding the early years of motherhood through ‘Soldier Sailor’
Reading Soldier Sailor by Claire Kilroy lets you into a raw and honest account of motherhood—whether you are a parent or not—the chapters will leave you with an aftertaste that is hard to articulate in words. As a mother who has experienced those emotions first hand, immersing myself in the narrative brought back the chaotic, exhausting, and love-filled fog of my daughter's infant and toddler years. The chronicle of the blurred days and nights of early motherhood is fresh, honest, and universal in the book, with a somewhat fragmented structure that suggests the malleability of memory.
The novel is brief and powerful, as if delivered in one go. While reading it, one might feel that they are reading a mother's confessions while she takes care of her son. It seems like she is already at a point in her life where even minor accomplishments feel monumental. Soldier (the mother) provides no context at the beginning of the novel, but only her perspective—sharing her overwhelming feeling of finding herself torn out of her real life as she sets out to raise Sailor (the son).
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Soldier's husband—the typical representation of patriarchy—believes his work holds more importance than the trivialities of childcare. At nights, he returns to a clean home and fresh cooked meals, oblivious to all the multitude of battles waged between the sailor and soldier. Despite his busy schedule, he prioritises his fitness, turning his garage into a makeshift gym. After work, he spends long hours in his garage, often staying up late to avoid his share of domestic responsibilities. This improves his quality of life, leaving little appetite for playing the role of a father and a husband. Yet he occasionally chimes in by stating the bleeding obvious—pointing out where his wife is going wrong.
Meanwhile Soldier's life revolves around changing nappies, and cooking, managing a cranky baby while shopping at supermarkets, taking him to toddler groups and the park. Lacking both sleep and mental stimulation, she juggles these tasks exhausted and brimmed with frustration; she soon transforms into a distorted version of her former self. The author deftly explores the disillusionment and resentment that arises when the idealised partnership of parenthood gets overshadowed by the harsh realities of daily life.
Soldier Sailor oscillates between moments of tenderness and exasperation. The narrative gives voice to the unspoken fears and anxieties that many mothers experience, effectively capturing the annoyance with kids and the innate desire to protect them from harm (to the point of being willing to kill). This creates a sense of solidarity and understanding for readers who have walked a similar path, making it an outstanding powerhouse of a novel.
The novel's depiction of the mother's internal conflict between her personal desires and maternal responsibilities underlines the inherent tensions and how isolating the journey of a mother can be. Soldier Sailor contributes to a broader understanding of the female experience—sparking conversations about motherhood, identity, and the challenges faced by women in contemporary society.
Kilroy brilliantly immerses the reader in Soldier's life as a new mother, laying bare her struggles with parenting and hopes for the future while sprinkling these revelations with flashes of dark humour that are remnants of her everyday challenges. The unequal division of labour and its impact on marital relationships are universal issues. Although written by an Irish author, I believe this resonates with many mothers worldwide (because it did with me, and many others I know).
Using the second person "you" addressed as a monologue to her baby son, and present tense narrative creates an immediate and immersive experience for the readers, placing them directly into the chaotic world of the unnamed characters. The mother's soliloquy is an attempt to connect with her baby boy—sharing her experiences with him to create a bond through words. As a reader you experience her consciousness, and thoughts in real-time, without the distraction of character names.
Soldier Sailor is a powerful reminder of the profound impact children have on our lives, and a celebration of the extraordinary women who raise them. Even though this book offers a one-dimensional portrayal of parenthood and partnership—considering the father's voice is missing throughout—it is a must-read for any parent, or anyone curious about the maternal experience. The story will linger long after the final page is turned.
Salwah Chowdhury is a bookworm and a creative writer, working as a communications professional in an NGO. She loves the rush of thinking, reading and writing. Please follow her on Instagram @salwah_chowdhury and share any book recommendations or DM her to strike up a bookish conversation.
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