Merepurr’s darkest hour

Merepurr Stadium had never looked like this. Under the floodlights, the playing surface gleamed an unnatural black; like obsidian smuggled out of some dystopian multiverse, polished to sinister perfection.

 "We're experimenting with chrono-spin," muttered Hommie Tennings, the current pitch curator, who was seen beating the soil as if it were a malfunctioning 90s TV set.

"The ball might bounce last week, or next decade. We're preparing to even throw the kitchen sink to help the Trygrrs enter the 2027 World Cup."

Hovering over the floodlights, the legendary Damini -- the architect of Merepurr pitch and Saturn's rings -- smiled faintly. "I designed every crack, each and every debris," he said. "Batpeople may think they can adapt, but I also control the consciousness behind collapse."

They say the Merepurr pitch had been overplayed like Friends. Even Doctor Strange, who had traversed timelines to find a comparable wicket, concluded that no other pitch came close to such dark perfection. "This pitch is stuck in a time vortex," Strange said, adjusting his cloak.

Desperate for results, the cricket board officials scurried about in the stands. "Who needs entertainment?" whispered one, followed by a laughter track out of nowhere. Meanwhile, the board's Tourism department unveiled its "visionary goal": bring fans back to the Merepurr Stadium, also known as the Suffer-e-Park for any batperson.

"Forget runs," chirped a bright-eyed official. "We'll market the drama, the time-warping pitch, the black cat that moves backwards across the crease like a Lynchian character… People will definitely come for the spectacle, if not for cricket."

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On the field, batpeople struggled. Shajmul Nanto drove the ball, only for it to vanish into a miniature black hole near lightyear-off. Haif Sassan's edge was devoured by the off-stump bail.

Fans left bewildered, wondering whether Trygrrs had entered a new horizon; or a very, very dark loop. The tea vendor shrugged. "Either way, chai isn't selling. Nobody wants to sip while time bends."

And yet, the board officials smiled. A win is a win; even if it comes from a timeline no one, not even Doctor Strange, fully understands.