In 2022, three different Pinocchio movies came out, much to my confusion. Hollywood's motive to churn out soulless films for revenue is not news to any of us, but what stands out to me in this particular case is how wildly different each of the movies are. 

Be it in terms of the overarching story or their medium of adaptation, all three of these movies are decidedly different beasts.

So, out of sheer curiosity, I decided to watch all three. Judging each for its own worth, I discovered how even the same fundamental concept of a story can be laughably mediocre in the wrong hands while achieving new heights in animation excellence when placed in the hands of a passionate director.

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio

This stop-motion animation project directed by Guillermo del Toro tells the story of Pinocchio and Geppetto in a roughly two-hour-long musical that is at once heart-breaking and dark, while still managing to contain all the charm required for a movie to be classified as a children's film. There is very little for me to say here that isn't overwhelmingly positive. Even the decision to have the story of an inanimate puppet come to life and be told through the medium where inanimate objects are filmed to be lifelike is simply brilliant. 

The story itself begins with the backdrop of life in a fascist hellscape in World War 1 era Italy, which adds a very grim twist to an already grim tale covering themes of freedom of expression, of being, and of facing the moral consequences of your actions. 

A masterpiece throughout, this is one movie I will recommend to everyone.

Disney's Pinocchio (2022)

When this film isn't busy being a more diluted live-action remake of the animated film from decades ago, it adds elements to the story that do very little to make any of the characters more engaging or the story more fun to experience overall. The story is almost unchanged from the animated version, yet every scene somehow seems to have lost all soul in the transition from animation to live-action.

Pinocchio (2022) feels dull and like a version of the movie where the story's weight is taken away for a cheap and quickly produced film that even children may have a hard time enjoying.

Pinocchio: A True Story

This 3D animated film was animated by a Russian company and doesn't look that bad. It's no Pixar production, but the visuals have some effort put into it that the rest of the movie simply lacks. 

Apart from the names of Pinocchio and Geppetto, nothing in this movie even closely resembles the story of Pinocchio. The whole story is completely bizarre and nonsensical at times. Together with particularly horrendous voice acting, this movie is probably the strangest take on Pinocchio I have ever seen. 

The only plus side is that there's a talking cat and all he does is shoot at people with his gun. Oh, and this one scene:

Geppetto: "You're evil."

Evil Person: "I'm not evil, I just didn't get enough sleep."

Frankly, I'm just impressed they kept that in the script. 

When Raian isn't sleeping, he is watching strange movies he finds on letterboxd or reading poems. Send him a poem on IG @raian_is_burning