Bus service says crash a result of R&D

Tejpara - A week ago. Jeena Travels lost a bus travelling from the capital city to the coastal region. The 56-seat bus lost control off a bridge and sank with all 82 passengers onboard. The driver as usual managed to escape like James Bond. Rescuers heard him singing the tune to "Die Another Day" as he escaped on another bus he was seen racing against.  

"The company is happy to state that this was a research and development exercise to improve the bus service and it yielded excellent results. Our open and airy buses were being tested on poor passengers who cannot afford air conditioning or human rights. Our open design allows passengers to breathe better and feel more refreshed. Unfortunately, that airiness does not help underwater, allowing the bus to fill with water in two minutes. Or less," said Russel Vai, part-time researcher at the Marine Technology Society.

"We have previously tested buses against head-on collision with trees and learned that almost all trees cause major damage to buses and all live passengers inside," said Munira, an accounting intern at Jeena Travels who also believes the 1994 Friends sitcom is racist and should have included more trees.

Netizens think Jeena Travels is trying to pass off accidents as research.  Munira quickly replied, "In 1928, British bacteriologist Alexander Fleming discovered the world's most powerful antibiotic. How are we any different?"

When we asked why their buses are always suffering brake failure and being piloted by people who have no training, they responded that it is not failure if you are eventually stopping against a tree, pillar or another vehicle. "In science, everything is an absolute, you are either stopped or moving, it is a one or a zero," explained Russel Vai who is also a part-time lead researcher at the National Nuclear Power Federation. 

People complained on social media asking for justice of the poor people who lost their lives and bringing about road safety reforms. This lasted for four days until social media activists moved on to news of a lost submarine that went down full of millionaire people with real money.