Why small-talk in Dhaka feels like a vanishing act

As "the melting pot" of Bangladesh, the capital city has certain characteristics that might as well be tagged as 'culture.' Some of them commendable, some are prevalent everywhere, and some on the verge of fading away. It feels like small talk is one of those cultures.

Small talk fading away

It's not just Dhaka. Small talk is fading away everywhere. The whole world is facing this phenomenon where small talks are a becoming a memory of the past. We are not going into the discussion of the necessity and merits of small talk culture, but rather acknowledging how something that was once so common now almost unheard of (Pun intended).

There are a number of things that took its place. Having a smartphone in everyone's hand is probably the biggest of them all. People nowadays would rather be tuned into their favourite playlist instead of small talk.

On the other hand, Dhaka is not what it used to be. Now, there are too many people, too many vehicles, too much noise, and everyone is too busy to care about anyone else. So small talk really has no place in people's schedule anymore.

Illustration: Ashif Ahmed Rudro

Rare but still here

While it is indeed rare, it still can be spotted.

Most people who engage in small talk are acquaintances. In public transport, you see people who often commute together engage in discussion about how much traffic there is on the road. People complain about how difficult it is to get a seat on one of the public transports and the other person nods in agreement, probably adding some comment that you can't hear over the noise of the honking traffic.

The usual small talk includes asking about the family, where the kids go to school. Then pretty soon, it ends up in politics these days; even though small talk is supposed to be a casual conversation. 

Sometimes, you get a glimpse of a few young adults who truly engage in small talk. Football, wrestling, TV shows are usually their topic of conversation. If it's none of the above, then it's gossip.

"Did you hear what Ashif did yesterday?" one of them begins and soon, a chatter starts. People around them will give them an annoyed look but they don't care.

The king of small talk

A middle-aged man on a public transport; this is the ultimate king of small talks.

From asking you details about how you are doing, where you are coming from, where do you study and how many siblings you have, this man will switch up faster than you can answer.

If you are on a bus, they will invite you in small talks about how terrible the roads are and curse the drivers, hoping you join in. Next thing you know, he is criticising the government, criticising the average person for their dishonesty and blaming the general public for anything he can think of. 

Younger people usually refrain from such conversations with strangers. This is an interesting factor that shows the generational gap.

Always dramatic, never boring

This culture of small talk is many things but it's never boring. All you have to do is take off your earbuds for a moment and listen.

You will find how fast these small talks start, how suddenly they change topic and how abruptly they can turn sideways sparking a conflict. Raised voices are usually escalated small talks that did not remain so small.

It is ironic, somewhat entertaining, and a culture that might become scarce with time but it will never disappear. And it's not just Dhaka. As long as there are civilisations standing, small talks will remain.