Social lives you don’t see: Dhaka’s domestic workers un-filtered

Have you ever given a thought to the social life of Dhaka's toiling masses? Our service helps, our guards, drivers, office staff, cleaners, grocer, fishmonger, and vegetable vendor -- people who make up the backbone of our household management system, and office too.

They are the foot soldiers, doing the menial job of supporting our ritzy lifestyle from behind the scenes.

Parul is a lively 23-year-old, extremely smart, and eager to learn. She is married and works as a house help, earning close to TK 15,000. Her husband is yet to find his footing in this city of dreams.

Her friends are Sultana, a migrant worker, who returned home and married the boy she was in love with. Then Rupa, who had been working in Singapore as a child caregiver, came back, got married, and now has her own child. Tripti, a chirpy, happy girl from the foothills of Garo Pahar in Haluaghat, Mymensingh. Tripti married a vagabond and has a beautiful, healthy girl. Parul has lots of such friends, who all have an income and job in the service help industry, but unfortunately, they are all married to vagrants, while these girls are all doers.

This is the story of most of the mid to lower-income group of girls. But today, I will not dwell on their decisions, and hardships; instead, I will tell you the fascinating social life of the likes of Parul and her fellow mates.

Money or no money, their social status depends on their social media personality; the main objective is to look fashionably pretty and happy in the photos. The megapixels of cell phone cameras, up-to-date information on beauty products, and fashion trends matter the most for these girls and boys doing blue-collar jobs. Dhallywood, Bollywood, and access to the internet have changed their previous plain-Jane lifestyle to this happening one.

I am intrigued by Rahima's success. Rahima, who is working as a part-time house help in three houses, earns close to TK 32,000. She lives in a flat, not the slums, with her driver husband, her son, who is trying for overseas employment, and is now idling his time as a delivery boy. Her ailing mother, and a divorced daughter with a grandkid, burden her finances.

Yet, Rahima has had a bank savings deposit scheme running for years now. She has a bank balance. She hires taxicabs and takes her family to recreational parks and goes to 300ft for the viral duck and chapti experience.

On the other end of the spectrum are girls like Rabeya, a 15-year-old with a fairy-like, surreal beauty. She came to Dhaka from a madrassa background in hijab and all, and now, she is doing a job in shooting studios. She got off the track.

Then there is Hasan, a 40-year-old guard, who lives his life on credit, and yet, his social life is full of merriment, weddings, birthdays, and Nobanno celebration all go on in his tiny room at the garage he lives in.

Interestingly, unlike the previous generation of housekeepers, service people, or housemaids, the current batch of migrants coming to work as domestic workers in Dhaka have etched their mark and found financial stability and a better life. Mind you, they too belong to Generation Z.

With all their shackles and harsh realities, this new generation of house helps of Dhaka, living in urban slums and shacks, is making the best of their lives. Let's not forget the fact that they, too, must deal with health problems, parental responsibilities, and other troubles life gives them, like us.

And please, we should also modernise our mindset regarding our service personnel. This is not the 1950s, when you could beat them for breaking your crystal glass. You are no one to give them the freedom or permission to live life on their own terms. They work hard to deserve a good life, and you learn to respect their slog in modern Dhaka.

I just want to say that Dhaka, with its enormity and kindness, has embraced these young aspirants and villagers. I think this is the true spirit of Dhaka; everyone here finds a comfort zone.