Recently, I had a bit of an epiphany. As a thirty-something woman who likes to think she has seen a fair bit of the world, I hopelessly lacked any knowledge about the way dating works in modern times. "Knowledge is power" is a motto I have ardently believed in for the longest time, and that dating rituals in our gloriously chaotic city have taken on a whole other dimension, left me reeling. And I put it mildly.
Growing up in '90s Dhaka, where a family shared a single land phone and our exposure to the world was via television and books, we did things slowly with grace and poise. In my day, love was expressed with heartfelt prose in letters and poetry. Our days were spent in leisurely reading sonnets. Iambic pentameter was not just a literary tool but words strung together in such a way that Shakespeare's ardent love for his beloved shaped our vision.
And here we are — in the era of dating apps where one swipes left, right, up or down. Is it any wonder I feel like a fish out of water? But change is the only constant so one must keep up with changing times, no? Hence, in pursuit of gaining much-needed knowledge about this decidedly urban phenomenon I asked around, read tonnes of articles online and observed modern dating rituals with the keen interest of a sociologist! My discoveries turned out to be fascinating, if I may add.
To begin with, dating in today's world is fast, fluid, and fun. In ancient times like the '90s people connected organically through common friends, family and forums such as schools, universities or such. But in 2025 when everyone's smartwatches are pinging away relentlessly who has the time?
Dhaka society by all means is still fairly conservative and yet these apps are surprisingly popular. Here one can 'choose' the 'type' of people they desire as potential mates. Sounds like a dystopian idea? It is as real as it gets.
The way it works is — one downloads an app of choice (these apps have their individual specialities for your information, to cater to a diverse range of interests), and pay a subscription fee. Having created an account s/he curates a personalised profile that via algorithm matches them with other individuals with similar interests and characteristics.
And this is where the plot thickens. Swipe right and you might just meet the one, or swipe left if you don't like what you see. Sounds so innocuous and fun right? Apparently, it's not as simple as it seems.
Meraz, a regular Tinder user laments that rarely ever are people honest about themselves. "It's one thing to gloss over a few things but when you expect to see a person and she turns out to be an entirely different being, it's crushing' he says.
Tina has a horror story to share. "This one guy described himself to be adventurous and an adrenaline junkie who later turned out to be a car thief! I was impressed by his devil-may-care attitude and suave looks. After two dates he started acting strange and would not return my calls or texts. Imagine my surprise when I saw on an online news portal that he ran a car theft ring out of Uttara and it got busted by the police on the very day we were supposed to meet!"
Tinder Swindler, that very popular show from Netflix, taught us all that in the murky world of online dating nothing is what it seems. Proceeding with caution is essential; when it comes to matters of heart we rarely think with our heads. What's more, financial damages are often accompanied by heartbreak.
Junaid met a wonderful girl on one such dating site and fell in love with her. He proposed to her with a 1.0-carat diamond ring, alongside his mother's heirloom jewels. Shortly after his fiancé vanished into thin air, taking all of the gifts with her. He later learned that she's a professional con artist after going to the police thinking she was in grave danger.
While these may be extreme circumstances other users are mostly disgruntled with these apps. Some complain that the people they meet are only looking for casual relationships and not intending to go for long-term commitments. Some people get taken for a ride and so on.
It's not like dating apps are all abysmal. There are success stories where people ended up getting married after meeting on apps. A rare occurrence it may be but not entirely impossible. Stakes are quite high in this medium, but here comes the million-dollar question: How far will you go for love?
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