Bangladesh Budget 2022-23 for dummies

As an average millennial, what does the budget really mean to you? Terms, technicalities and jargon from the 343 chapters of the proposed budget are enough to send an average desk jockey into a tortuous-fuelled death spiral of confusion.

This is why most reluctant millennials with no savings, or the capability to afford to own a home, remain unfazed by such fiscal highlights of the year. Unless, it disrupts the few pleasures they have in life.

However, the big cog in the machine is about to grind harder. With the ongoing crisis like remittance going down, import costs and rising inflation, one should rest easy because the head honchos plan to tackle such critical challenges strategically as a nation.

Here is how we can contribute by doing our part:

Cigarettes

Smokers and caffeine addicts have, yet again, the opportunity to contemplate the decision to go for a healthy lifestyle.  This is because of the newly proposed VAT on the sticks of death and the dark elixir of sustenance we call cigarettes and coffee. If anything, this should be the silver lining.

Beauty items

On the other spectrum of the rainbow, inspiring individuals like influencers and YouTube-verified cosmetic experts can finally reflect and inspire others on inner beauty. In contrast, testosterone-fuelled individuals have the perfect reason to boast or show off their facial hair, like Rocky from KGF, thanks to the tax hikes on shaving, beautification, toiletries, disinfectant, and depilatory items.

Technology

The techies of Dhaka city might have to hold on to their current generation of smartphones; laptops and even Wi-Fi enable refrigerators. This is only due to the possibility of these tech essentials having a heavier price tag. On a brighter note, this will only result in loving what you have now despite the newer temptations out there.

Soaring Internet prices

Getting back postcards with pretty destination pictures might be a real option, with train tickets and Internet prices to soar through the sky. Travel vloggers and Instagrammers will have the luxury of stamping the newly bought postcards and aesthetically pleasing self-portraits on their literal walls. #bringbackthepostcard

Divorce

The sentiment of 'Till death do us apart,' has been running strong in us for quite some time. No thanks to the prolific and costly split of Amber Heard and the famous Pirate, the older generation is delusional by being concerned that their overly modernised offspring might follow the same path. Have no fear; married couples will stay married while ignoring the deeply rooted issues against one another. Why? The price hike of divorce stamps will force them to work things out. #saynotodivorce #marriedfoeva

Meditation

If you are still here, you will only naturally stress over a few likely hypothetical scenarios. Have no fear! Himalayan monks achieve Zen by being off the grid and embracing solitude. So can you. You can aspire to be a self-taught yogi since the charges of meditation services will go up. Nonetheless, one can achieve anything if one resorts to the imagination while stretching. Just go easy on the neck area.

Depressed and yet rich

On the depressing side of the story, the top 1 per cent now have few bumps, however minor they might be, on their already difficult road. Such as, their exotic bird collection is about to get more exotic with the extravagant import cost. That being said, such nuisance can easily be dealt with by the state-of-the-art suspension of their more expensive SUVs.

In all seriousness, what can one do in such a dire situation? Easy, buy exotic birds.