Being nice is a wonderful trait, but when it turns into people-pleasing, it can leave you drained, stressed, and disconnected from your own needs. People-pleasing is not just about being helpful; it is about bending over backward to keep others happy—even when it costs you.

People-pleasing often means altering your words and actions to avoid upsetting others or gain their approval. While it might feel good in the short term, over time, it can take a toll on your mental health and relationships.

Signs you are a people-pleaser

Still unsure if this describes you? Here are some red flags:

• You say "yes" when you want to say "no."

• You apologise constantly—even when it is not your fault.

• You agree to things just to avoid conflict.

• You crave validation and feel uneasy if someone does not like you. You rarely make time for yourself.

• Be kind with intention: Help when it feels good—not when you feel pressured.

Sound familiar? These habits can lead to burnout, resentment, and unfulfilling relationships.

Why it is a problem?

People-pleasing is not inherently bad—considering others' feelings is part of any healthy relationship. But when you prioritise others at the expense of your own needs, you are left feeling unappreciated and exhausted. Over time, this dynamic can strain relationships and leave you feeling like you are living someone else's life.

Breaking free from people-pleasing

• Put yourself first: Prioritising yourself is the key.

• Set clear boundaries: Before saying "yes," ask yourself: Do I really want to do this?

• Hold back: Instead of rushing to fix every problem, pause and wait until      someone asks for help.

• Get support: A therapist can help you understand the root of your people-pleasing tendencies and offer strategies to shift your mindset.

True kindness comes from a place of balance—where your needs matter just as much as everyone else's. So, take a step back, set boundaries, and remember: your happiness deserves just as much attention as theirs.