Tips for your first time at a beauty parlour

Beauty parlours are the zones of mystery and enigma to many, given its power of before-after transformation effects within a couple of hours. The first visit to a beauty salon is always memorable. It takes a lot to brave oneself through the doors of those powder rooms. It will be yet another milestone in stepping up your game of gracefulness. I'll try to share some tips and tricks to ease this process but I can promise these will not help.

PAIN FROM EYEBROW PLUCKING > HEARTBREAK

If you think nothing can get worse than your heartbreak, then think again and drag yourself to a parlour and get your eyebrows plucked and shaped. Trust me, the first scrape of the thread against those delicate brows would make you forget about how he took an hour to text back. While you are busy getting teary, make sure that the beautician is not chatting away with her friends and leaving your eyebrows to look like a strand of wet spaghetti in the process. Tell her that 00's called and they want their eyebrows back.

DON'T LET THEIR WORDS HURT LIKE WAXING DOES

Before you get your first trendy makeover, be prepared to have some cruel jibes hurled at you by the quintessential ladies at the reception about your unhealthy conditions. They would be mad at you for not taking care of your own hair and skin and drive you to the point of guilt where you would feel like you have wronged them. They would swear on their jobs about how their new 'diamond hair spa' would restore your hair to its former glory. Don't let this crumble you. You are fine.

BEWARE OF THE BATICUT

However, among all the conundrum of getting the perfect long-layered bang with fringes, do not end up with the infamous baticut, where your hair ends up in the shape of a hideous bowl. In case of such a mishap, try not to cry but you already know how it will end. Pay attention if you are there just for a hair trim, or else the trim would turn into a crew cut before you even know it. These experts tend to overdo it a little if not stopped. If you don't believe me, try to get a glimpse of the makeup on one of the brides. You will catch your own reflection staring back at you.

DISCOVER YOURSELF

You will soon find out the type of customer you would turn out to be after a few visits just like I did, which in my case would be the silent screamo. Whether it's threading or the antichrist of beautifying activities, waxing; I have screamed and shouted to the point of no return, but only in my head. These beauticians have an intimidating aura about them and I would rather bite and swallow my tongue than let out a mousy whimper.

But not all turn out to be such. Some customers would be the whiners whose constant complaining would justify the actions of Sweeny Todd if you know what I mean. Some would happily share their spiced up stories, audible enough for anyone in the vicinity. You might as well eavesdrop a bit while lying back with all the heaps of clay mud on your face. Or you could just sleep.

ALWAYS PICK YOUR FAVOURITE SALON ATTENDANT

They would gradually adjust to your quirks and pay extra attention to your needs once you pay those extra tips. Not only that, you will soon be aware of many classified information including which of the facials actually work and which are placebo.   

As much as I sound like a harsh critic of these chamber of secrets, I will not be able to refrain myself from my bi-weekly visits there. Like all other dreaded things in life, there is no escape from this one as well. Although, right now, I am going to forget everything I just said and go for a neck massage.

Iqra suffers from wanderlust, dreams of discovering the Loch Ness Monster and occasionally complains about Economics. Tell her to get a life at iqra.kashmir53@gmail.com or www.facebook.com/iqra.l.qamari