Growing up in a household of nine, I often felt like my voice got lost in the daily chaos. My mother was always caught up in an endless cycle of chores, and my father, away for work, would return home too drained to engage in conversation. Eventually, I stopped trying. There were times I wished my parents would ask how school was, celebrate my small victories, or simply check in on how I was feeling. But their attention was always pulled elsewhere. Over the years, that silence became second nature. Now, even when I want to express myself, I hesitate, unsure of whether my words would truly reach them.

I soon realised that this wasn't something I experienced alone. My friends, cousins, and even acquaintances shared similar stories, narratives of feeling unheard, of conversations cut short, or of the fear that their words would be dismissed. It became clear that the gap in communication between parents and children is not just a personal struggle but a widespread issue. Despite living under the same roof, many of us grow up feeling emotionally distant from our parents, unsure of how to bridge the divide.

Now that many of us stay away from our parents for university or work, the communication seems to be harder. Trina Talukdar, a student of Leading University in Sylhet, shares her relationship with her parents. "As the years passed, I found myself becoming more reserved. I started holding back, unsure of how to communicate certain emotions or problems. It's not that my parents became less approachable, but somewhere along the way, I developed a hesitation either out of fear of judgment and misunderstanding or simply the feeling that they might not fully grasp what I was going through."

The rarity of situations where both parents and children actively listen to each other forms the very foundation of the hesitation that exists between them. In many households, conversations are often one-sided — either dominated by parental authority or limited to surface-level exchanges. As a result, children grow up feeling unheard, while parents remain unaware of the emotional distance that gradually forms.

"One of the biggest issues is that young people feel neglected when meaningful communication is missing. The way parents interact with their children, both in terms of tone and engagement, has a lasting impact," says Mostak Ahamed Imran, a play therapist and educational psychologist. He adds, "In the first five years of a child's development, they need to be treated as individuals with emotions and thoughts of their own. Empathy plays a crucial role during this stage, as children are highly perceptive. They can easily sense coldness in a parent's tone or lack of engagement, which may lead them to feel unheard or unimportant. If this pattern continues, it can shape how they express themselves in the future, making open conversations more difficult as they grow older." 

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As a result of this lack of open and vulnerable conversations with their parents, many teenagers and young adults struggle to navigate relationships outside their family as well. When meaningful dialogue and emotional expression are not encouraged at home, children grow up without the necessary experience to communicate their thoughts and feelings effectively. This not only affects their ability to form deep connections but also shapes the way they approach relationships, leading to the development of different attachment styles.

Aman Shahbaz, a student of Chhatak Govt. College, shares his struggle with expressing emotions, saying, "I am willing to talk to people about my feelings, but I don't know how to. So, I end up not saying anything at all."

This sentiment speaks to the experience of many young individuals who, despite wanting to open up, find themselves unable to articulate their thoughts and emotions. The absence of early practice in meaningful conversations leads to hesitation and self-doubt, making it difficult to engage in honest discussions, even with close friends and family. Over time, this silence can create emotional barriers, reinforcing the cycle of isolation and unexpressed feelings.

To avoid the emotional exhaustion of unsurfaced emotions, it is necessary to create a space in each home where all members' opinions and say is equally heard and valued. Mostak Ahamed emphasises the importance of compassion in family interactions. He advises making mindful conversations, where each member of the family listens to others talk about their experiences without judgement, a daily practice that is free from distractions and built on genuine attentiveness.

"Being actively listened to boosts self-confidence. When individuals feel that their thoughts and emotions are valued, they develop a stronger sense of self-worth, making them more comfortable expressing themselves in different social settings. This, in turn, contributes to a more positive worldview, as they grow up believing that their opinions matter and that meaningful connections are built on mutual understanding," says Imran.

Tanbhir Ahmed Mahin, a student of North South University, shares his positive experiences in this regard.

"Living alone can sometimes feel isolating, but having my parents to talk to makes a huge difference. They provide a sense of comfort and security that no one else can. Whether I'm struggling with personal issues, career decisions, or just everyday stress, opening up to them helps ease my worries. They don't judge me; instead, they listen, guide, and remind me of my strength."

He adds, "When I started to converse with my parents, it went better than I expected. I was hesitant but sometimes it only takes a little effort from both sides. Parents often understand more than we give them credit for."

At its core, having mindful conversations is about fostering a culture of mutual understanding and emotional depth. Whether it's a simple inquiry about one's day or a profound discussion on life's challenges, these moments of genuine connection strengthen relationships and contribute to the emotional well-being of all involved. Open and intentional communication nurtures trust, deepens empathy, and transforms familial bonds into sources of unwavering support. It is never too late to initiate these conversations because sometimes, all it takes is a single step to realise that understanding and connection have been within reach all along.

Ohona Anjum writes, rhymes, and studies English literature.