We live in a world where things happen faster than we can often wrap our minds around, stress is stitched into our daily life like a second skin, anger and irritation simmer just beneath the surface, and we often roam around like an active volcano ready to erupt at any second with the slightest inconvenience. This is especially true for anyone living in a chaotic city like Dhaka, where the true extent of belligerence can often be seen on a public bus, where almost everyone seems to be in a fighting mood for some reason.
If you are someone who feels uncomfortable being in the middle of a conflict, you must have wondered once in a while, have we, as a nation, forgotten everything about tolerance, patience, or forbearance? My observation is that, as modern human beings, we are quite terrible at dealing with our stress, anger and anxiety.
A snide comment, a missed deadline, or an unexpected setback can easily ignite a blaze of anger or anxiety in us. Yet, long before neuroscience mapped our stress responses or psychologists offered coping techniques, ancient thinkers grappled with these same emotional storms.
From Stoic philosophers preaching equanimity to Eastern cultures emphasising detachment and contemplation, humanity has always searched for ways to govern its own emotional chaos. However, can old wisdom still soothe our modern minds? And if so, how do we sift through centuries to apply it meaningfully amid the pressures of modern life?
From a neuroscience perspective, it is well established that our reactions to a given situation is shaped by the way our neurons are wired. Have you ever noticed someone nodding slowly and responding with measured words in a heated argument? Meanwhile, you know you would have lost your cool five minutes into that chaos.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured
Both our genetic makeup and past experiences impact our brain's chemistry, which in turn affects how we respond to different situations—responses that can be as unique to each person as fingerprints. This perspective might make you question, can we then really control our emotions, or are we just passengers in a car driven by our neurotransmitters?
According to researchers and philosophers, the answer is yes; as human beings it is perfectly possible to take a path of avoiding conflict, and choose composure instead. Philosophers have grappled with this long before we introduced "anger management workshops" or apps promised inner peace in five minutes. In fact, ancient thinkers may have been better at understanding our modern frustrations than we give them credit for.
A famous saying often attributed to different people goes like this - "Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured." Seneca, the Roman Stoic philosopher, upheld similar views, arguing that "No plague has cost the human race more" than anger, inflicting damage on both the individual harbouring it and those who become its targets. He emphasised how anger diminishes the clarity of our thought and severely impairs our rational decision making process.
Seneca was a political advisor under Nero, one of Rome's most volatile emperors. His life was, quite literally, a stress test. Yet his essays in 'De Ira' (On Anger) offer a chillingly calm diagnosis, anger is not natural, it is a failure of reason. He asserts that understanding the origins of our anger is crucial in learning to manage it effectively and advocates for various mental strategies for that.
One of the key tools he offered is developing an acute awareness of one's emotions and the triggers that provoke them. Secondly, self-reflection and introspection help uncover the underlying fears and desires fueling the anger. Conscious contemplation can show that anger frequently arises from feelings of injustice or powerlessness, offering an opportunity to address these concerns in a constructive manner rather than through impulsive emotional reactions.
Modern neuroscience also agrees. Anger, like stress, is rooted in the amygdala - the brain's threat detection system. It is not inherently bad, but protective. However, in today's world, we are not dodging predators. Our fight-or-flight instincts are being hijacked by minor frustrations and emotional triggers, resulting in chronic stress, lashing out, and regret.
To be clear, Seneca and other Stoics were not advocating for emotional suppression. Their idea was subtler, train your mind like a muscle. Recognise your first emotional reaction, then step back and interrogate it. Another Stoic thinker said, "It is not events that disturb us, but our judgments about them."
That is not just good philosophy—it is the basis of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), one of the most effective modern tools for anger and stress management. CBT teaches us to spot distorted thinking and reframe it. Even if you are angry at someone, instead of exploding to make your point, it is often kinder to yourself to find a constructive way to express that.
We often treat anger and stress like enemies to be fought. But perhaps they are messengers, pointing to deeper values, unmet needs, or unhealed wounds. The goal is not to silence them, but to transform the energy into something clearer, calmer, kinder.
Miftahul Jannat is a journalist at The Daily Star. Sometimes she writes to make sense of the questions that refuse easy answers. Reach her at: [email protected]
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