Families with less than 3 members to merge

The government has recently announced its plan to address the problem of small families.

The plan involves mandatory mergers of households with less than three members with nearby households across the country.

Minister of Family Privatisation Mr Justin Laizeau, who hails from the country's Bhabna district, made the announcement last week.

The decision has caused citizens to scramble to rearrange their living situations.

The move has left many questioning whether it is genuinely about strengthening family sizes or an attempt to expand free land to construct more shopping malls and AI parks by compressing as many people as possible into fewer homes.

 The streets of the country's capital are filled with excitement and anxiety as families wait anxiously to know their fate. Will they be paired with their noisy neighbours who host karaoke nights every weekend? Or might they end up sharing a house with an unusual hermit who only communicates with carrier pigeons?

"We will examine the picture of the last 10 months," Minister Justin Laizeau said. His statement caused more confusion than comprehension. "We will allow six months for voluntary family mergers; after that, we will force families with less than three members to merge with their neighbours. We have discovered approximately three million such families in the capital alone and are currently verifying them."

 "It's utter madness," exclaimed Munna Rascala, a prominent bachelor of a one-member family, clutching a stack of photos of his TikTok girlfriends as if they were his lifeline. "I didn't sign up to live in a sitcom with strangers. What's next, mandatory game nights and group yoga sessions?"

The government claims the mergers will benefit the entire community. However, some people wonder if there is more to the the story.

Summer-salt Khan, one such citizen, expressed his concerns, saying, "Government officials will have to put in much effort to develop algorithms and compatibility assessments to ensure that families can live together in harmony. It will be a challenging task to promote domestic happiness because they have to ensure that families share a bathroom with people who have similar etiquette and smells".

Meanwhile, opportunistic entrepreneurs have wasted no time capitalising on the chaos, launching "Family Fusion Consultants", promising to facilitate seamless mergers for a hefty fee. Services include compatibility assessments, conflict resolution training, and custom family crest design.

Motivational speakers have also turned up and created videos on living a fulfilling life. The most viewed one is titled "How to live a companionableShukh-on life from a lonesome Shukh-off life".

With such a short deadline, citizens are becoming increasingly concerned about implementing the family fusion experiment. It is difficult to predict the outcome of this experiment, and many people are still determining what to expect.