Generations through a lens: Changing times for women

The changes Bangladeshi women have witnessed right before their eyes are nothing short of a phenomenon. From the whispered admonitions of the grandmother and the silent struggles of the mother to the bold declarations of the daughter — the journey of women through changing times reflects both continuity and transformation.

In the sepia-toned memories of yesteryears, we got to see a grandmother's narrative emerge, etched with the weight of societal expectations.

Ranuara Begum belonged to an era where male dominance cast a long shadow over every aspect of life. Born into a world where girls were deemed as liabilities rather than assets, she was handed a script scripted by tradition and conformity.

Unlike what you would expect from a girl from the current generation, she did not know any better than to follow it silently all her life. For her, obedience was not a choice but a duty ingrained from birth. 

Directed by the authoritative voices of her parents and later her husband, she navigated the maze of life with little agency, her dreams tethered to the whims of patriarchal dictates. 

Although Ranuara Begum never dared to voice it, the craving for knowledge was something she nurtured in the quiet corners of her home. Despite being a wife, a mother, and then a grandmother, she taught herself a new language, English, from simple translation textbooks. 

Amidst the echoes of her mother's subdued footsteps, Afroza Begum Rosy, the mother of two beautiful daughters and a son, carved her path albeit fraught with its own set of challenges.

Being born and raised in a time where gender discrimination was blatant, she learned early on that her destiny was preordained — to belong to her husband's family, to fulfil the roles prescribed by tradition. Married off at a tender age, her aspirations took a backseat to the demands of marriage and motherhood. 

In the crucible of adversity, she found resilience. Rosy was not her mother; she did not silently accept what was given to her. She dared to question it. Emerging from the shadows of domesticity, she resumed her education after years of gap, all the while keeping up with her personal life. 

What started with finishing her higher secondary education, eventually led to Rosy accomplishing a double Master's degree in English Literature and TESOL. "I had this one thing as my very own. My education," she says proudly, "And I promised myself I would hold on to it and make something of myself no matter what life threw at me." 

Photo: Collected / guille pozzi / Unsplash

True to her words, Rosy shattered the glass ceiling, carving a niche for herself by becoming an educator. She currently stands with an experience of 20 long years, having taught English in the British Council Bangladesh and Canada for 13 years now, and also as an examiner of IELTS for the past 7 years.

Where she was taught that daughters are nothing but weakness, she found her strength in her two daughters. Rosy rebelled openly against the suffocating norms of her upbringing to become the architect of her daughters' empowerment, instilling in them values of self-sufficiency and resilience. 

Today, with a smile she remarks, "My mother never dared to have a dream. I was also like that until I finally taught myself to love and hope for better things in life. While my dreams were solely for survival at some point, I had told my daughters that the sky was the only limit for them. Nothing less."

In the dawn of a new era, the daughter emerged, her voice a clarion call for change. Sanjida Salim Mithila, now successfully pursuing a career as an Accounting Manager — Revenue operation, was raised in the aftermath of her mother's silent revolution. She embraces a world where gender roles are in flux, and where the professional landscape offers opportunities previously denied. 

"I think we live in a time where the traditional gender roles have truly taken a backseat," she states reflecting on her daily life, "I don't have to stay home just because I'm married. Neither my profession nor my achievements in it is limited by my gender."

Mithila further asserts when talking about her mother, "I have seen my mother 'grow' with us when my siblings and I grew up. Although it could not have been easy to accept the changes that came with changing times, she did so and never hesitated to have an open and honest discussion about any matter with us."

So, did she only see men holding women back from their potential? No. According to Mithila, she had seen her paternal grandfather stand as the biggest pillar to lean on when her mother had set out to find herself, showing that men can also be a huge support in women's empowerment.  

When asked what she would like to tell young girls of today, Mithila chose to share the words she lives by. "Other's success should not affect you, just like their failure does not benefit you. You are your own competition; not another gender's and not anyone else's. The goal is to be better tomorrow, than you are today." 

Across the chasm of time, the voices of three generations converge, each echoing the sentiments of empowerment and emancipation. Yet, their narratives are marked by distinct shades of struggle and triumph.

The grandmother's tale is a reflection of the tradition's crushing hold that prevented her from realising her full potential. On the other hand, the mother's story shows her determination and the ability of education to effect change. Lastly, the daughter's story of resilience, a balance of personal and professional life, tells you how changing times can lead a person to leave the societal toxicities behind only to bring forward the positives.

Yet, amidst these differences, there are threads of commonality that bind their stories together. Just like it binds us all. The legacy of empowerment passed down from mother to daughter, bears witness to the enduring strength of the feminine spirit.