Fierce and fabulous forties

As soon as you hit your forties, age tends to catch up. Nature's law states that no one can hold onto youth forever and yet, all across the globe, especially in our nation, women in their forties are derided for the friends they keep, to the clothes they wear and even the jobs they choose to frequent 9-to-5 a day.

The most amazing part about this age is that women become more deviant, they become self-reliant and a whole new institution on their own. Some chose to leave their jobs to pursue entrepreneurship because no longer is an unfair boss acceptable. They are disgusted by the patriarchy existent in society and wilfully stand with other '40 something ladies' to fight head-on against the unjustified system.

At this age, men and women are more knowledgeable and experienced and they can use this valuable asset anywhere in their lives, from the personal front to the public sphere. However, the sad part is the rampant use of the derogatory proverbial terms like "kuritei buri," even in the 21st century, which usually renders to the connotation "chollishe mrito," forcing the ladies over 40 to face a double-edged sword of ageism and sexism. When men are considered to be 'refining as fine wine with age,' women are disdainfully discarded as bygones.

I belong to the latter group, the fierce group of forty-year-old women, encompassing single mums, women who have never been married, women who are happily married with children, women who are happily married without children, divorcees, widows— you name it, and we are a part of everything. We are a cult! We have found out how to deal with society, professional obstacles, psychological trauma, depression, systemic abuse of power, and so on. And I feel that 'they', the society has made us smarter, and stronger to recognise exploitation and be able to deal with it as necessary.

I have but one thing to say: if we change, society will too. For once in our lives, let's get off the grid, and walk through the forbidden territories, and not let anyone else question our motives and our capabilities. Because this is the age to be reborn again, to be able to reboot and start and live free.

As Maya Angelou said, 'I would like to be known as an intelligent woman, a courageous woman, a loving woman, a woman who teaches by being.' So, age is not important for any human being, including a woman: we may be fierce in our 30s, fabulous in our 40s, and colourful for the rest of our lives.

Photo Courtesy: Tanziral Dilshad Ditan