Why do we obey even when we do not fully agree?

Imagine you are in a queue at an office. A staff member suddenly tells everyone to shift to a different line because 'this one is closed.' No explanation. No details. People look around, confused, but everyone quietly moves. You follow too, not because it makes perfect sense, but because the instruction came from someone who seemed to be in charge. No one argues. No one asks if there is a quicker option. Everyone simply obeys.

It seems like a small moment, but it reflects something bigger about human behaviour: we tend to obey authority automatically, even when a part of us hesitates.

This quiet willingness to comply is exactly what the psychologist Stanley Milgram set out to understand in the 1960s. His famous obedience experiment was designed to measure how far participants would go in obeying an authority figure who instructed them to perform acts that conflicted with their personal conscience.

On a psychological level, obedience gives us a sense of structure. It reduces uncertainty. It creates the feeling that someone else is responsible, not us. When a person who appears confident, knowledgeable, or powerful gives direction, our minds instinctively lean toward compliance. It feels safer than challenging or questioning, even when our instincts whisper that something feels off.

This dynamic plays out in everyday life far more often than we realise. Think of the student who stays silent in class even when they know the answer. The employee who agrees to extra work because saying 'no' feels risky. The friend who goes along with a group decision even though it makes them uncomfortable.

Understanding this pressure is important for our mental and emotional wellbeing. When people comply against their own values, they often experience guilt, tension, or self-blame later. Milgram's experiment reminds us that this pattern is not a personal flaw. It is a psychological tendency shared by almost everyone. But awareness changes everything. When we recognise the pull of authority, we can pause, check in with ourselves, and ask: Is this truly aligned with what I believe? By understanding this tendency, we give ourselves the power to choose integrity over automatic obedience.

The writer is a Bangladeshi student of BA Psychology at the University of Pune, India. Email: [email protected]