Peak ratings without peak cricket
If this still-ongoing Asia Cup has taught us anything so far, it is that in India-Pakistan cricket, the rivalry is kept alive less by cover drives than by cover-ups, less by short balls than short fuses, and who can out-boycott whom.
After all, what's a straight drive six when the asking run rate is well over 20 compared to the impact of a withheld palm?
For all latest news, follow The Daily Star's Google News channel. With the organisers having done everything in its power to ensure India and Pakistan can meet thrice in three weeks, one can almost hear the sighs of cricket historians as these two teams haven't played a bilateral series in over a decade.
Imagination trembles at what the next act/s of this melodrama might hold.
Perhaps the Pakistan captain will refuse to flip the coin until Andy Pycroft is not just removed as match referee but advised to rethink his entire career.
Perhaps India's players will agree to only touch the elbows of Pakistan's, but carefully avoid rubbing it while making eye contact, lest someone in the stands scream: "Get a room, you two!"
Pakistan, having already boycotted consecutive press conferences, might escalate further and eventually boycott the concept of cricket itself by the time they play the final, and if they play the final.
India, meanwhile, one-up them by dedicating every boundary to superhero Sunny Deol and the entire crew of Border and its upcoming sequel.
And if all else fails, the organisers might step in with holographic handshakes projected onto the stadium screen. The technology will lag, naturally, but the broadcasters will still call it peak ratings -- peak drama without peak cricket.
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