‘I would have become an egoistic maniac’: Kohli

Former India and Royal Challengers Bangalore captain Virat Kohli, in a candid conversation with Robin Uthappa, spoke about the challenges he faced during his battle with mental health issues and how his wife Anushka Sharma helped him to deal with the same.

Acknowledging the role of his wife, Kohli said," I always say Anushka's name, because she has seen the challenges of being in this position. She knows it. She has been there for so many years. She still understands that what it takes to handle the pressure of a public figure."

So her conversations with me have always been priceless, because she tells me the truth," said Kohli on Jio Cinemas.

"How she spoke to me during that whole phase is something that kept me in check. Had I been left to myself to figure out, I would have become an egoistic maniac. I would have been even more snappier and cranky. But she made me more humble as we grew together."

"The one thing that I learnt looking at my child was to be present. But I was hardly present," said Kohli while talking about the influence of his daughter Vamika. "She would be in the moment, present; I wasn't."

However, Kohli had to deal with mental health issues.

"It became difficult (to maintain mental health balance ) for me, I won't lie. Things got very very hectic. But then you had to step away. In times when everyone is trying to grab more and more and more, I was like if I keep being part of this rat race I am going to go in a space which is very very unhealthy, so me taking time off from the game was probably the most important thing that I needed at that moment", said Kohli.

Kohli also admitted that stardom had affected him and started to weigh on his shoulders. When Uthappa quoted Shahrukh Khan quote about he sometimes started to live up to the myth of Shahrukh and asked if Kohli had done the same, his reply was frank.

"I won't be dishonest…I was doing that for a long period of time. Till the time that it became so unhealthy where I was trying to live upto the expectations and this idea of Virat Kohli in people's heads, … like this guy has to operate in this way, he has to present himself in a certain manner and that was eating me up from the inside because I have never been a guy to pretend or portray someone that I am not." Kohli added.

Kohli also thanked Uthappa for being in touch with him during his challenging phase.