Dealing with "Biye Kobe?"

Are you a 20-something female with a bare ring finger on your left hand? If yes, then you're most likely hounded by the "biye kobe?" plague. There was a time when it was only a bit of leg-pulling at weddings but once you cross the big two-O it becomes one of the many external factors leading you to those fine lines on your face.

There's no way to stop the plague considering how long women have been hounded by this. When those are the odds stacked up against you, the only strategy is to pull stunts that can ward off this type of attention for some time. Here are some tips.

ENJOY THE ATTENTION

While it's really annoying to be constantly asked about marriage or being lectured to settle down, practice taking it calmly and basking in the attention. The key to this is tuning out all the noise and only focusing on the fact that so many people are willing to waste their breath badgering you. Once you start enjoying it, it'll err those hounding you and you'll be able to attend gatherings without regretting turning up for the food.

HAVE A DISCUSSION

Instead of just running from it, engage in a conversation. Ask questions politely and listen respectfully. In most cases, it'll be the usual checklist: all the good boys will be taken, duty to family, faith. Regardless of what their logic is, listen first so that you can also be heard. You might be surprised by how well-received a mature conversation on choices can be compared to just running from the issue if you give it a try.

SET SOME GROUND RULES

If you're not willing to marry until a certain age or milestone, declare it and make some ground rules along with it. Demand that your choices be respected. Once you've made clear you're paying attention to them to an extent, they'll hopefully let you be. If you don't have any such plans, you can still say that you want to be excused from such conversations until later in the future.

TEASE A POTENTIAL HUSBAND REVEAL

There's nothing that gets the minds of people whirring like this. Be coy and tease that you will reveal the name of someone you will be marrying soon. This might help in cases where you are presented with lists of eligible bachelors but it comes at a price. You'll be hounded with when you will make the big reveal. If you do have someone in mind, this is the way to go.

THROW A TANTRUM

I 100% do not recommend this unless it's a last resort kind of thing. Show that you're still a baby who's not ready to take on serious things like marriage and all that it entails. It should do the trick (and scare off some potential ghotoks).

Lastly, remember that no matter which route you take, there's nothing more important than taking ownership of your life and your choices.