Write to Mita

Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I'm 16 years old and I will be taking my H.S.C exam this year. I live in a village where my grandparents are popular and respected people. My parents had a love marriage and I think they are afraid of my grandparents. My parents want to marry me off but I don't want to get married now. Whenever I tell my mother this, she tries to reassure me repeatedly that she'd help me continue my studies. My father also said nothing would happen against my will. But they tried to marry me off right after my S.S.C. and I ran away from home and stayed at my friend's house for 3 days. I know my parents love me and I love them too, but I don't think what they are doing is right. I've lost trust in everyone. What should I do? Can the law help or protect me?
Underage

Dear Under Age,
The law states clearly that girls cannot be married before they are 18. So if you are 18 then the law will not help you. However, Islam religion says that no one can be forced to get married. You must continue to talk to your parents and your relatives that you trust. Someone must tell your parents the ill effects of early marriage that often results in grave illness, depression, and low weight babies etc. Even 18 is not old enough for marriage and in this day and age no one should be married before they are mature enough to understand the seriousness and gravity of marriage. I sincerely hope that good sense will prevail and your parents will not marry you off soon. In the meantime continue to study hard, that is your only license to a successful future.

Dear Mita,
I have often read in newspapers about women being sexually assaulted. I never imagined that someone I know would face such dilemma in her life. I have a friend who has been raped by her own cousin. Not only this, her cousin also took pictures of the rape. Now my friend is tortured every moment, recalling the incident. Her cousin had threatened her to upload the pictures on Facebook. Her parents are bedridden so she cannot share this with them at the cost of their lives. She could only share this with me because I am her best friend. I really want to help her but what can a 16-year-old girl do in this case? Please help me out, before my friend takes any wrong step.
Confused.

Dear Confused,
Rape is a criminal offense and has to be dealt as such. Your friend must confide to an older person who has to take steps so that the perpetrator is punished. I know there is a stigma attached to this offense but the offender must not be allowed to take advantage of your friend's silence and get away. I seriously advise that you seek professional and expert help which could be help from a relative, friend or even a doctor. You are too young to deal with such a serious matter.

Dear Mita,
I have trouble controlling my anger. I get upset at the smallest things and will scream until my throat is soar. Sometimes, I even break things. I wish I could change myself but I just can't. My friends and co-workers hate me because of this and my family is tired of me too. I've tried to get therapy but even during those sessions I get very upset. Please tell me what I should do.
Angry

Dear Angry,
I also think you need professional help and it is a positive sign that you are seeking it. It does not matter if you get upset at sessions, the therapist will know how to deal with it. Meanwhile, try to analyse what makes you so upset. There are different books on anger management perhaps you should get hold of them. I believe this is just a phase in your life and will pass soon.