Result Woes…

Oh God oh god oh god oh god oh god! No, this can't be happening. They were supposed to come a week later! You aren't prepared for this. They can't do this to you!

Ah…well, guess what, they can, and they right well did. And for the record, I just hope the mastermind behind it finds a very painful end. Results are probably the next worst thing to exams. Exams merely give short tension filled fits to their victims, results cause chronic heart attacks.

Come exam day you are apt to find yourself in some corner, sitting there with a blank look in your eyes and the world will then seem to you as nothing but a hollow surreal plane. And for some reason the exams that you gave would flash around and around in your head in a tempestuous maelstrom and every passing second would only add to your sorrows. You only understand the futility of this life when they tell you how well you did on algebra and electrolysis. And there's nothing worse than that feeling that you're something to be graded on quality and quantity, like you're a commodity on the weighing machine at the grocery store of life.

Soap operas and Bangladeshi politics offer melodrama, sure, yes. However, the greatest theatrics are shown on the day the transcripts are handed out. For say, you have the quintessential loner, who sits in a corner all alone, approach him and you'll get the most suicidal gaze you'll ever find outside of Hollywood. Talk to him and he'll spew the darkest darn things you've ever heard. And why you may ask? Because he's worried that part A of question 5 in section B of paper 2 seems to him quite inadequate now and he can't for the life of him expect to pass. And what will his parents say? Then there's the anxious one, the one who takes to pacing the floors. The one who after every five minutes just has to verify with you that yes, the answer to that question was indeed 20145.

The insecurity about these people are enough to make even the most confident to rethink about their shoelaces and if their zipper was up or not. You can't help but wonder if God had got it right when you are with this type.

Then there are the damsels in distress. These types only use theatrics to draw the crowds. Oh yes their worried about their results, but what's life without someone to faint over? You have to do it everywhere and leave a wake of people behind. You have to act the part. Come one, people want a show and aren't you the pretty little actress to give it to them? Of course you are, and you're results can't be bad, your too pretty to get bad grades.

However, there is a place that is drawing the crowds as well. There's the corner that the cool, slick and shiny ones have taken up. These here are the cream of the class, they can do no wrong. They're cool and above the others and somehow they manage to look good while doing it too. You can't beat these guys in terms of nonchalance. Nothing fazes them, even Donald Trump would get stumped interviewing them, they're that cool and calm.

And then there are the biker types. These are the ones who always had better things to do when there were classes to deal with. And they were the ones, who if they did attend the classes would always find something worth making a crude joke about. Approach them on result but be ready to get rudely kicked out of the conversation (and be glad that it wasn't a real kick on the butt to deal with). The thing worse is the expectations everyone has from you. You can't turn without someone reproaching you for not meeting their exalted standards. No matter how hard you try can never satisfy. Even if you're happy with what you got no one around you will be. They'll just assume you didn't try hard enough and revoke your television privileges.

In the end the results are somewhat unfair in the sense that they just grade a person on one day's performance. The system should grade a person on his whole year's performance and the amount of hard work they put in. That way the students will get exactly what they deserve.

By Tareq Adnan

Winners of the tournament (Da Team Alpha): Wings, Closer, Matt, Prince Of Cool, Sharif(not a player), HellBoy

We were in the final minutes of the game, the third match of the finals, the deciding match. At one side we have Xtreme Lungiz one of the best teams in Bangladesh consisting of some of the elite players, led by "HTH". At the other side we have Da Team Alpha, a team consisting of a group of good players and friends, led by "Matt", supposed to be the underdogs of the tournament but due to their skills and determination reached the finals.

The crowd is holding their breath, nobody makes a sound. All we can hear is the clicking of mouses and the team leaders commands/shouts. The game could go either way. Both of the teams are even. The XL (Xtreme Lungiz) started their final push. For them its now or never. DT á (Da Team Alpha) is preparing to defend with all their strength, well with almost all their strength. While XL and DT á were fighting, one of the team members of DT á, "Closer" gave a small push of his own. XL being distracted did not see the small push coming from the bottom to their base. It was too late for XL to notice. "Closer" has done the damage. The crowd roared, the whole 4th floor of Keari Plaza rocked. The game is over, the tournament is over.

This was the scene of the finals of the DGL DotA Tournament 2008 held on the premises and in conjunction with Assault 9/11 gaming cafe. A total of eight teams entered the tournament, all of them are well known in Dhaka. The teams consists of Shadow, Da team, Da team Alpha, XL from Assault 9/11 Gaming Cafe (Dhanmondi) and Aldex (Lalmatia), Crimson Death from Bass Gaming Zone (Dhanmondi), Imba Noobs from Blizzard Gaming Cafe (Dhanmondi), And Galib Bhai, Scorpio from Sniper Gaming Cafe (Malibag).

This was the 6th official tournament in a series of successful tournament held by DGL (Da Game League). Started on July 2005 with a group of 4 friends, it slowly grew to a community hosting tournaments, LAN parties and improving the gaming café s. in general DGL promoted gaming and encouraged competitions in gaming.

DGL's latest tournament started on the 29th of this February, taking the whole of Assault 9/11 gaming café, the largest gaming hub in the country. Spectators were not allowed inside, instead the game was shown on the food café on a 'Big Screen', while they lounged and had food. The tournament ended with a closing ceremony, handling out prices and having photo sessions. Quoting 1 of the player, wolf "OH!! What a tournament this was. Lots of ups n downs, thrills n suspense." Certainly not the biggest tournament in Dhaka but definitely the best. Ziam 'Annihilator' Alam

Two fools
Two fools in a bar and one said to the other.
"Hey! Can you tell me what the date is please?"
"No idea." says the other.
"But you've got a newspaper in your pocket," he says.
"Sorry mate, its no use, it's yesterday's!"

Poof!
On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the level of gasoline in the under ground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them.
"What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?" I joked.
"It would go out," he replied very matter-of-factly.
"Really?" I asked, surprised to hear that. "Is there a lack of oxygen down there or some safety device that would extinguish it before the fumes ignited?"
"No," my co-worker continued. "The force from the explosion would blow out the match."

A dog's life
A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go."
"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.
"I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground" he answered.
"But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked.
The man quickly answered. "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."

Twelve different school teams got down and dirty this year, playing football in the School Champions Trophy (SCT). This tournament that attracted quiet a lot of hype, went on for nine days from 29th February to 8th March at the Chairmanbari Field in Banani. The organizer of this tournament, 'The Source' put a lot of effort in it and as Mr. Amer Khan the Managing Director puts it, the response from the schools has been, “Very positive”.

2006 saw the first SCT. Mr. Amer, when asked to compare the two tournaments, answered, “It has been terrific this year! The concept has been built up already and many of these teams have in fact been practicing, keeping this tournament in mind.” And it showed as both the semi final matches and the final match went on to extra time making the young spectators thronging the match hold their breath.

The first semi final took place between Mastermind and Aga Khan School from which AKS emerged victorious wining the match 4-3 in penalty shootout. The second semi final had to be settled through penalty shootout too as neither Green Herald nor Bangladesh International Tutorial was able to score in their allotted time and the extra time. In the end BIT took victory beating Green Herald 4-3 in penalty shootout.

The final match took place on the the 8th of March. Again the match needed extra time but Tausif Ali looked into it that the match does not go into penalty shootouts. His goal and a tragic miss by BIT in the last minute of the second extra time made sure that AKS lifts the champions trophy. AKS was the 2006 champion and they successfully defended their title. During the tournament what came out as odd was that many players were shucking the responsibility of looking after themselves as many were putting a very low urgency on wearing shin pads. Atif from AKS who did care to wear his shin pads put it, “they would do whatever necessary to play good.” And when asked how he would rate the whole experience on a scale of ten, he replied, “On a scale of ten, I would rate it eight.” The 2008 tournament having been settled, the organizer plans to hold the tournament again in January next year. And next year it will be bigger with sixteen teams.

The tournament was sponsored by GMG Airlines, Co Sponsored by Pacific Motors (Nissan). Drinks Partner: Virgin Soft Drinks, Media Partners: Radio Foorti and Channel I. The tournament was supported by Bangladesh Football Federation.

By Hitoishi Chakma