Write to Mita

Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I have been dating my boyfriend for the past six months. Prior to that, he was seeing someone casually for some time, but realised he could not relate to her and broke it off. She seemed fine with his decision and remained friends with him until he started seeing me. When she realised we like each other a lot and are not breaking up anytime soon, she started doing the strangest things. She started being extra friendly with people close to him and asking them about us. Before every social event, she made it a habit to ask his friends if I will be accompanying him and showed up only if he went alone. She started spreading vicious lies about me, saying I'm unfaithful and into drugs etc. I tried to be understanding at first, but the rumours really got to me. To make things worse, my boyfriend doesn't seem worried about all this, which annoys me and makes me insecure. How do you think I should go about making sure she is out of our lives for good? We just can't seem to shake her off!
Annoyed

Dear Annoyed,
I think you should not be worried and ignore her. She is being childish and immature. You should not do the same otherwise there will be no difference between you two. The important thing is how serious your boyfriend is towards you and how much he wants to cut off the previous relationship. He should make this clear to you and also to her. Once she is convinced that hanging around will get her no where, she will get fed up and leave for good.

Dear Mita,
I have been sleeping a lot nowadays — sometimes to get over my boredom; at other times to avoid confrontation with others. I am not sure whether this habit will have a negative physical or mental consequence. However I do feel guilty sometimes because I fall asleep at odd times of the day. So far this habit has not harmed anyone or my job but it disrupts day-to-day activities like breakfast-lunch-dinner, bathing and social interaction. Do you think I should be concerned about this habit and try and change it?
Zzzz

Dear Zzzz,
A normal healthy person should not need more than 8 hours of sleep at night with a short nap in the daytime if necessary. Sleeping at all odd hours is not usual and should be avoided. It leads to lethargy and eventually to ill health habits. I suggest that you take up exercise, yoga etc., eat healthy and get into a routine with specific time for all your activities during the day. This is not yet a serious problem but might become one. Moreover, you are young and healthy, there is so much to do, why do you want to waste it by sleeping!