MOVIE REVIEW
MOVIES FOR THE END OF THE WORLD
By Orin
So the Mayans got a bit lazy and took a break from writing calendars for thousands of years and now the world is ending. You find yourself clinging to the last bit of sanity and humanity while the rest of the world kills each other fighting over the last bit of pretty much everything. Friends and families might try to find each other to spend time with special ones; but we suggest you lock up your house and stock up on food and movies. There's nothing like eating without repercussions and re-watching brilliant movies. Or at least that's what we tell our forever-alone selves.
Frankly we'd suggest you guys to watch whatever that comes to your minds, but in case you guys lose your minds and choose Adam Sandler's 'Jack and Jill' or Lindsey Lohan playing Elizabeth Taylor in a bad excuse of a motion picture, we made a list of movies to watch, movies that hopefully will make you go all gooey and mushy inside.
Something life-affirming, something that makes you feel happy to be human while not being too positive that you'll feel sad about the world ending. American Beauty is a perfect choice: it's poignantly told story of people being miserable and finally finding beauty in whatever they have - easy
to understand and Kevin Spacey's superb acting makes us a bit curious about dying. The Shawshank Redemption is another movie worth watching while the world around us falls into utter chaos, because it lets us hope and hope is a good thing. Both A+ apocalypse material.
If the world as we know it is ending, at least we need the fighter in us to be alive and kicking; Breakfast Club is not just something to be watched when you are an angsty teen, but when you realise the reality has come crashing down, and the only way to face it is to be ourselves, in our truest nature. Remember the first time you saw The Matrix? You'd be lying if you say it didn't keep you up at night. The world might have grown up, but there's something about it that makes us want to keep on going, and keep on fighting, because the world doesn't have to end.
If everything fails, if somehow you feel hopeful even with the unlikely chances of survival, start watching I am Legend because dogs are awesome and Will Smith almost manages to survive. We strongly suggest our readers to watch 2012 and 28 days later, to get pointers on what NOT do should the world as we know it ends. Whatever you do, you do not hop on a plane and move about, there's something called fuel that planes need.
When all else fails, go for the uncut Lord of the Rings trilogy. You wouldn't even notice the world ending.
GAME REVIEW
TWISTED METAL FOR THE APOCALYPSE
By Shaer Reaz
The end is near, and you'll need to be prepared on every front. If you're familiar with what they show in post-apocalyptic movies, you'll know that transportation will be a major issue. With no Middle Eastern oil sheikhs to pump the good old black stuff out of the ground, it will be pretty hard to run your car for an extended period of time. So, first things first: learn how to ride a bicycle, just in case.
The apocalypse we talk about here is the zombie apocalypse, since it'd be pretty hard to drive around during any other type of apocalyptic event. Of course, there's the limo driving scene in the terrible movie “2012” but we vehemently deny its existence, so there shall be no more mentions of 2012 or limousines.
Getting down to business, you'll need a hybrid, partly because it will save you gas and partly because of the irony involved in saving the Earth by driving a holier-than-thou-hybrid when the Earth has, quite obviously, not been saved.
How to pick out your perfect Project Apocalypse: keep looking till you find a hybrid (like the utterly hideous Toyota Prius, or the slightly palatable Honda Insight). Now this bit might be quite important: find documentation that the abandoned hybrid used to be driven by a female. If a car can survive women drivers for the length of its pre-apocalyptic life, a ravenous zombie horde should be no match for it. If you can't find documentation, look for unusual dents in the front bumper and look in the trunk for shoes and lipstick. (Editors' note: We have it on good authority that Shaer has crashed more cars than any two women drivers combined. An intelligence black ops discovered lipstick and high heels in the trunk of his car… along with a wig. He had also stashed a picture of Danica Patrick there, with the words “My Idol” written in big lipstickky letters. We leave the facts to the readers to draw their own conclusion)
You have now acquired a hybrid. Next would be finding some fuel for it. Find an abandoned gas station, find fuel, and leave a sizeable tip on the counter (because money has absolutely no value).
Now to the pimpin'. Bars over the windows are a great idea, to save some unfortunate Walker's head crashing in through the windshield and ruining your lovely hybrid. Or possibly eating you. Two birds with one bar. You'll also want to take a huge amount of zombie blood and guts and smear them on the roof, hood, and sides. Tape or glue them on if you must. The smell of death does not attract zombies, and anything that moves and smells like death are generally ignored. Hybrids can't move very fast, not unlike the typical zombie, so there's that.
If you're attempting to do this in Dhaka, you first priority would be to remove the horns. Dhakaites are incorrigible in their need to press the horn for no apparent reason, and since zombies are attracted towards loud noises, this necessary safety precaution may save your life.
You'll also want big bumpers. More specifically, you'll want the massive bumpers you find fitted to Pajeros and Landcruisers, something you don't generally see outside Bangladesh. So in this front, Bangalis have a better chance of survival while the rest of the world struggles. Fit as many foglights as you can on said bumpers, even if they don't work.
Neon is the next order of business. Forever the staple of ricers and modifierzzzzzz around the world, neon serves no other purpose than making your car look badass. If you can find one, get a neon spoiler as well (yes, they do exist). Blue, green, red, yellow, mix up the colours and watch in amazement as the zombies run away from you. It is said that besides the base instincts of feeding on flesh that all zombies share, they are also able to recognise a bad driver when they see neon on a car and hence have the fear of God, quite literally, driven into them. Modifierzzzzzz 1 - Zombies 0.
These are the essentials. The rest is up to you, so go wild. 20 inch spinners on a hybrid? Hell yes. A thousand DVD monitors so you don't have to spend boring, zombie-less nights? Awesome, so you can watch zombie movies across decades and find out what you're doing wrong. Make sure your windows are tinted too, because you don't want to inadvertently build a drive in theatre where even zombies get a free pass.
Good luck. And remember, when the world falls, a hybrid may save your life.
MUSIC
SOUNDTRACK OF DOOM
By Shaer Reaz
Life needs background music. Since it doesn't, when the apocalypse hits, you should go plug these into some speakers.
Eruption - Van Halen
Arguably the second best guitar solo ever, Eddie Van Halen's masterpiece is THE track to countdown to the apocalypse. As the screeching guitar rises and falls, you can watch the world crumble away. Fun.
Leaving On A Jet Plane - John Denver
Except you're not leaving on a jet plane. You're going to die. Regardless, good song for goodbyes to your girlfriend/boyfriend/hand.
Infected - Bad Religion
Zombie Apocalypse wins on internet polls for how the world should end. Well, the name should sum it up, no?
Zombie - The Cranberries
Admittedly, the Cranberries weren't talking about actual, brain-eating zombies, but who cares? They're probably dead too (metaphorically, of course), so misconstrue meaning at will. While a zombie feasts on you, try singing this to it.
Onnoshomoy - Artcell
Arguably, the apocalypse will involve a lot of running. Running requires adrenaline and this Artcell number has it in bucketloads. While the music makes your blood boil, the lyrics point to the monster inside us which can be interpreted as an analogy for zombies.
Obaak Bhalobasha - Warfaze
For those weirdoes who may just fall in love with some zombie somewhere.
AC/DC Discography
It is impossible to select just one song from AC/DC to play during the apocalypse.
So, do the sensible thing: input the whole discography and turn on shuffle.
I'm Shipping Up To Boston - Dropkick Murphys
Well, if Boston is synonymous with the afterlife, then sure. And besides, Punk is always good to get you up and running to grab that baseball bat for self-defence.
Tornado of Souls - Megadeth
And speaking of getting your blood flowing, nothing like some thrash metal for that. Also, this is doubly apt if the end is by natural disaster.
It's The End of The World - R.E.M.
Pretty self explanatory.
Fire Water Burn (The Roof Is On Fire) - The Bloodhound Gang
It is very possible, probable even, that when the world is ending, your roof very well may be on fire. And a conflagrated roof calls for this song. Besides, it's good for “teh lulz and giggles”.
Cemetary Gates – Pantera
It's Pantera. We can't possibly make this list without them. It'd be wrong. And if you don't have this on your playlist for the end of the world, or any day with massive number of deaths, you're wrong.
Viva La Vida - Coldplay
Brilliant music; and it has that melancholic tinge that adds a little movie drama to staring the end in the eye. This would go better if the world ended in slow motion.
Super Massive Black Hole - Muse
I don't think we can rule out the possibility of a giant vortex appearing in the sky and swallowing up the planet.
World, Hold On - Bob Sinclar
Cos we needed some old school techno/house. And this has one of the best videos ever. Go check it out if you haven't seen it or if you want some nostalgia.
Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden
Soundgarden's apocalyptic hymn is perfect for the, erm, apocalypse. If I had a choice, this would be my background music for the end of the world.
Shesh Gaan - Nemesis
Some people like something softer at the end. Thus the very aptly named, Shesh Gaan.
We can't fit everything on to our list, so we have some honourable mentions that didn't make it for various reasons.
Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin
Knockin' on Heaven's Door - Guns'n'Roses
The End - The Doors
Desolation Row - Bob Dylan
Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance
Bye Bye Bye - NSync
Don't Fear The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival
The Final Countdown - Europe
Any song by Apocalyptica
DOOMSDAY
SURVIVAL APPS
FOR ANDROID
By Anashua
A highly anticipated apocalypse is zooming towards us, or so they say. And we all know what that's going to be like - no electricity, lots of zombified people on the streets, the rest of us rushing to the market to stock supplies for the week. Nothing new really; residents of Dhaka have been dealing with it for weeks now. But let's not forget that we must use our smartphones for everything imaginable. So we bring to you a list of apocalypse survival apps that will help you trip up your friends in the final hurdle.
First Aid - American Red Cross
The app has a clean look, with all categories of possible illness listed, from poisoning to stings and bites. It has a section on preparation for emergencies, and even tests to check how well prepared you are. If you also care about the safety of your pets, check out the FirstAid+Pets app for some handy tips.
Army Combatives Self Defense
This app comes with clearly drawn diagrams and five-star reviews from plenty of users. It can really teach you some useful basic defence moves. Here's one app that won't leave you feeling stupid after the anti-climatic 21st.
Sirens and Horns
Who knows what rubble you'll be buried under, and whether you'll be in any condition to talk. And why bother wasting energy. Use this app for a range of annoyingly loud sirens that you can blare out to rescuers.
Edible and Medicinal Plants
When you have run out of food supplies, turn to any patch of green nearby. The pictures will help you identify plants that you can eat or use as medicine.
Use this in combination with the edible mushroom identifier, Fungitron-mushroom guide.
Zombie Apocalypse Sounds
If you find yourself unsure about when the apocalypse has truly started and the harmless cries of vegetable vendors have turned into sinister howls of the living dead, here's a sound catalogue of what the zombie apocalypse might actually sound like. It can also be used as a great prop for pretend play, if you're really into that kind of thing.
