The Way To A Man's Heart
Last week we ran a story on Men's Rights and how they want sandwiches ready and waiting.
Here's a woman's rebuttal to the sandwich wish, of all things.
The true way to a man's heart is through sandwiches.
In the ancient times, men used to hunt, men used to cook, men used to eat and feed their families. Women did the gathering and the child-rearing. Occasionally women poisoned the men, but that's a whole different story. It's hardly the tarantula's fault her mate is small and delectable. Granted, no man wants to be small, but for some odd reason, they like hearing they'd be good to eat.
Yes, men are not the smartest of creatures. This is made even more obvious by the fact that they want women to cook for them.
They say their palates are more sophisticated than women's. They claim they have better taste when it comes to food, and always have something to say about how their girlfriends' chocolate muffins are the best they've ever had, but a pinch more cinnamon or a dash of salt could have made it absolutely spectacular (clearly, they were lying before). They know the best combinations of spices, and will tell you which blend of ingredients should not be attempted without even trying the dish out.
They are extremely scrupulous about their food. Girls have favourite restaurants. This writer knows a few men who order a burger at one place, eat it; then leave to get French Fries from somewhere else. If a girl says, “The food was good”, a guy will correct her with, “The pulao was good; the mutton could have used a few more minutes on the grill.”
And they call women picky.
(By the way, just because girls don't say it, doesn't mean they don't get it.)
Most men love not only to eat, but they genuinely love food, too. They talk about keeping the 'integrity' of food, and complain when said 'integrity' is compromised by the maid.
(But it's perfectly alright if they do it. Anyone ever try spicy chanachur with sweet yogurt?)
The majority of the best chefs in the world are men. Masterchef Australia is hosted by three men. Masterchef USA is hosted by three men. Hell's Kitchen is run by a man. Most of the contestants on Top Chef? Men. Most of those cooking shows? Run by guys. You'd be hard-pressed to find a female baburchi in Bangladesh. Siddika Kabir doesn't count - she's dead, God rest her soul.
Do you know a Tommy Mia, or Tina Mia?
And here's the funny thing: once you get a guy into a kitchen, it's a very difficult business to get him out again.
A sandwich essentially consists of two slices of bread, and cheese. Other ingredients are optional. Ketchup should not go over tomatoes. Mustard is not preferred in sandwiches. A sandwich must be triangular in shape and have the edges cut nice and clean. There's a technical term for that. The guys probably know it. As they say, they know everything there is to know about the art of dining (not necessarily etiquettes, since few of them have table manners better than a goat - which, coincidentally, also eats everything).
Men love to cook. Men love to eat. Men love food. Men are good at it.
So go make your own bloody sandwiches.
By Professor Spork
A reply to BPL. Dreams shattered
Reader complains about resident cricket-geek's rant.
Cricket-geek joyfully replies. We sigh in resignation.
I don't agree with the writer of the article. I am a cricket fan, and yes it was annoying when the opening ceremony was done by Indians. But, the majority of Bangladeshis love that type of thing, so they loved it I am guessing. They love the Ullala songs, the catchy Hindi songs. I hated it too. But come on, it was just an opening ceremony.
The writer only pointed out the negative parts.
A lot of Bangladeshi players came into spotlight because of that. The host and others talked about the great things in Bangladesh. They said on television that Bangladesh treated them really well and was hospitable. Being a Bangladeshi I felt proud and was happy. And I think BPL was a huge success.
It was a good thing for the Bangladeshi players. They got a lot of help from players like Chris Gayle, Pollard, and Shahid Afridi. They can improve themselves. They always played against them and now they played on the same team.
Ashraful got the highest number of catches; Shakib was the man of the series among all the players, Sunny was the highest wicket taker. Players like Junaid Siddiqui, Naeem Islam, who were mostly below the radar, played really good.
And the spot-fixing/match-fixing things? People even say that it was fixed that India won the World Cup. We still saw the World Cup, still saw IPL then why not watch BPL? If your team wins, they deserve it. If it loses, match fixing?
And I think the best team won. The top 4 deserving teams went to the semi-finals. Chittagong and Barisal were really close. But, Barisal was higher on run rate. And they did prove themselves by getting into the finals, didn't they?
So, stop comparing IPL with BPL. It was their first attempt, so stop pointing out the mistakes only. Yes, criticism is needed but support is too. If you didn't like it at least be happy for it because this is the first time Bangladesh is doing something like this. Let's hope for a better BPL next year. :)
By Faabiha khan
Hi Faabliha
I am truly sorry if I have caused you offense as a fan. It was not my intention. But believe me when I say I was speaking as a fan as well. Anyway, I will only answer the driving points of your arguments.
You are right; this is the first time Bangladesh is doing something like this. But since when was Malaika Arora Bangladeshi? I understand, we have to have an international feel to our tournament. But why do we have to be international through Ullala?
I'm taking nothing away from Shakib; he was brilliant. Except that last over in the semi-final, which was disappointing. Junaid played only one decent innings. That's like Alok Kapali's century in ICL. Aren't Ashraful's occasional bursts of brilliance enough for fans as emotional rollercoaster? Besides, the players haven't even been paid properly yet.
Chris Gayle played three matches, Afridi played two. Both are power-hitters. Gayle has ditched his national team. What do you think our players would learn from these guys, other than “hit the ball as hard as you can and hope for the best”? They already do that.
As for the spot-fixing/match-fixing thing, I'll let you guys make up your own minds. Also, the semi-finalists were supposed to go through on Head-to-Head win counts according to the by-laws. There were three teams on equal points. Run rates were secondarydidn't count. Basically, they used the head-to-head method to separate one of the three and the run-rate method to separate the other two, which was in contradiction of the by-laws. The whole breakdown is all over the internet. But like I said, the logic is convoluted beyond recognition.
The bottom line is this: we could've done better. All the goodwill earned from TV hosts doing their job and saying good things about Bangladesh were lost, thanks to the fiasco with the semi-finalists. The tournament is famous for mismanagement, and that's not how Bangladesh should be known.
Kazim Ibn Sadique
Websites for Aspiring Writers
If you’re done being famous writing via RS, there’s a few more options that get you some extra mileage. You can read others' works, criticise them, as well as improve your own work. Your claim to literary fame is just a click away!
Helium
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Young Writers' Society
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Goodreads
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By Paramita
