North South East West (N. E. W.S.)

The Dam(ned) Issue:
The talk of the month was surely the Tipaimukh Dam. Scheduled to be built on the river Barak in India, this dam is posing a threat for our country, as it will flood Bangladesh in the near future. Now a lot of discussions are taking place in the country between political parties and diplomats. The government is planning to 'discuss' over the fact with India and they are sending a special convoy to inspect the area and confer. The Opposition Party has termed the team as a 'Party' and the tour as a 'Picnic'. The government retorted as this being a 'guided tour'. Latest Update: they could not land on Tipaimukh because of rain (as of 1st August). Talk about party poopers.

Ride the wave:
We won't need a dam to blame for floods if the drainage system does not improve. A night of rain and the WHOLE of Dhaka city went under water prove this fact. Interestingly the Prime Minister's office also didn't get any special treatment as it too went under water. Immediate orders were given to improve the drainage and we will hope that steps will be fulfilled in near future, which means by another 50 years (the average life-span of human beings is 63.4 years approximately). One question still lurks; why doesn't this city sink underwater like Atlantis?

Excuses:
How many lists of lame excuses have you read? Well, we have- plenty- but they didn't include this one (until now) by fellow countryman Liton Hajary of Laxmipur. He was gathering sand from a pond near a dam (again) and when asked of the reason, “There have been 108 law-suits against me during the previous government and I got very poor carrying them out. So I am forced to amass sand now.” For your information, Mr. Liton is the former General Secretary of the Awami Swechchasebok (Volunteer) League.

Bangla Wash:
Yep, that's what it is called now if Bangladesh manages to end a tour without losing once. Going hard against the weakened West Indies cricket team, they managed to beat them in both of the test matches and all the one-days. Some terrific performances by the stand-in captain Shakib al Hasan and the spinners ensured their first series win (and a white Bangla wash to boot) away from home. Ex-captain Ashraful also managed to find some form (which will leave as soon as you read this sentence). In the meantime we all may hope for the quick recovery of our main pace bowler Mashrafe Mortaza from his knee injury. The pacers really looked out of sorts in the heaven for pacers.

Of Beers and Battles:
See, Obama has his own way of getting into the news, and this time's no different. What's different is, the news itself. Recently, Obama invited over Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Police Sergeant James Crowley for a drink of beer and to settle their dispute. The dispute was this; the Professor, being absent minded as all Profs are, lost the keys to his house. Against the world's better judgment, he tried entering his house through a window and Sergeant Crowley, who was on patrol round the area, arrested him on grounds of “breaking into” his own house. It would have been logical had the Professor been any younger (the dude's 68) and the house not his! But trouble brewed even more when the Sergeant racially abused him and a quarrel started. Now, Barack “Peacemaker” Obama plans to resolve this by inviting them over a “Beer Summit”. Yeah, that's what you need; trying to stem down racial abuses between two hotheaded men over a round of alcohol. We just hope the White House's neighbours don't call up the Police to say the Prof has now broken into the White House.

By The Don Khan and Ero Senin

The Cool Myth Box

People's Honest Party, Bangladesh (PHP,B)

Little is known about the elusive People's Honest Party, Bangladesh. Even the name of the party remains shrouded in mystery, however what is known that the ideologies of this same party was on numerous occasions used in propagandas and electoral pledges by many other parties. It is said that the PHP,B's Constitution contained a number of stringent regulations which had to be upheld by party members. These include: (1) Actual Freedom of Speech, (2) Actually Keeping Promises Made, (3) Not Partaking in any sort of Criminal Activity (4) Not Taking Bribes or Acting In Illegal Manners (5) Telling the half-truth, (6) Working for Betterment of Society and not Oneself (7) Doing worth-it stuff etc.

Historians have pointed out that the above rules have also been undertaken in the constitutions of many other parties, albeit without being implemented. However, these ancient historians zealously claim that the PHP,B always adhered by their rules, contrary to recent political parties. Though the whereabouts of this party remain unknown, supporters of this fabled and fantastical party claim that this party is considered so mythical because it was actually never elected to power but came by some sort of miracle. The PHP,B is also credited for single-handedly changing the mind state of the people and brainstorming the collapse of one of our nation's biggest parties.

However, there are doubters who laugh at the possibility of such a glorious party in such an inglorious place like Bangladesh. It seems a party without the shadow of corruption is less believable than a minority president in one of the biggest so-called democratic countries of the world. Mythologist and Geologists also claim to have uncovered signs, which point to the truth behind the idea that such a party exists but an all-honest party is still very hard to believe in. The search for the truth goes on, but one thing is for certain; no such party exists currently. The PHP,B's tales still manage to inspire and awe many people around the country. Let us hope that one day we either find and build from the remnants of the party or create one out of the ashes of PHP,B's ideologies.

By Osama Rahman