Everlasting friend

IT is the last thing you expect. Too busy burning the midnight oil, rifling through sheaves of notes, working your neurons to nothingness as you cram for your pick of exams, it is the last thing you expect. But it happens. Somewhere between your resolution to catch up on your favourite shows once you cross that milestone Last Day of Exam, and big-shot Hollywood producers sitting on their five-acre studios, your favourite TV shows get the axe. And you are left in the lurch.

This spring has been a bad season for TV show-faithfuls. Perhaps the recession, despite a new Leader of the Free World, is really making its presence felt in the hallowed halls of the TV networks that crank out your weekday-high. Here are some of the shows that are soaking in the blues.

Scrubs
It has happened. Zach Braff's eight-year stint at Sacred Heart Hospital as Dr. John Dorian is officially over. No more single-frame shots and voice-overs. No more obnoxious doctors and over-earnest interns. No more of dream sequences or random breaking-into-song moments. No more Lazlo Bane's 'Superman' (the acoustic version of which played as JD pulled out on the Sacred Heart Hospital's parking lot in the closing scene of the series finale, and reduced yours truly to tears). The show that shot this band to fame is now over. There are talks that ABC Network might be considering a spin-off, but a spin-off without an annoying janitor and a balding lawyer? We think not.

Grey's Anatomy
Grey's Anatomy started off five seasons ago with five interns, one hospital, and a whole lot of drama. Along the way, love interests died (who can forget the season one finale as Katherine Heigl's character Isabel Stevens clung on to her fiancé's body while Snow Patrol's heart-wrenching 'Chasing Cars' played in the background?), marriages fell apart, brides got jilted at the altar, and star-crossed lovers found their way. But all good things must come to an end, and come season six there will be no more Katherine Heigl or TR Knight. Lack of camera time, compelling storylines, and a controversial Emmy nomination later, Heigl and Knight have decided to leave the show. If you thought Denny dying of his heart transplant was sad, this will leave you miserable.

One Tree Hill
One boy, one dream, and a basketball court by the river. His half-brother, a bleached-blond misunderstood artist, a loner nerd, and the resident diva. Teen show addicts found something to Twitter about when creator Mark Schwahn brought his fictional town of Tree Hill to the CW network. Though not eclipsing the likes of 'Beverly Hills 90210' or 'Gossip Girls', 'One Tree Hill' has its share of steadfast fans who stuck through six seasons of heartache, break-ups, reconciliation's, deaths, and great music. Unfortunately, the sixth season was the last one to feature OTH's favourite couple Chad Michael Murray and Hillary Burton. Will 'One Tree Hill' be the same without Lucas's brooding good looks and Peyton's vintage Comet? Cue the sad music.

Tonight Show
May 30th is the last time Jay Leno will appear on the Tonight Show. Come June 1st, he will hand over the reins to Conan O' Brien. Seventeen years of monologues and Jaywalking and random cooking have now seen their curtain call. Jay Leno announced his retirement from his much-beloved late night show last year. On the upside, he will be returning this fall on primetime. The downside? MSNBC doesn't air in Bangladesh. So unless someone can figure out a way to watch (or download, but we're not advocating piracy) the episodes online, this is the end of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

There they go. With their hours of entertainment and hundreds of inside jokes, with their convoluted love triangles and secret liaisons and hopes and dreams, with all the things that you found yourself rejoicing at or shedding tears over. There they go. Perhaps you need to mourn. Perhaps you may feel inclined to stake out your favourite DVD store and stock up on all the seasons. Perhaps you might want to frame said DVDs up on your bedroom wall and bravely battle back tears, I don't know. But I feel your pain.

By Shehtaz Huq

WEEK in and week out, this little paper has been reviewing books that deal with fantasy, horror, post modernist China and Hilary Clinton, and myriad different other genres. But this is probably the first time that this reviewer has taken it upon himself to review something other than marvellous works of literary extravaganza. This week, it'll be a bit different. This week, it's a textbook review.

This week's book happens to be something every grade eight student has and hasn't touched in the last year or so. The only reason it is being perused now would be because the prudence concept seems quite prudent now. Knowing it at least.

In terms of story, the author has woven a riveting one. Flicking through the chapters one can almost see the obvious misery of the characters, the pain and cost of production, the loss in adverse net profits, the hatred of defaulting bad debtors and persecution of those filthy non-trading companies. You can almost feel one with the other readers, and that is the unique thing about this here book.

It is not the characters that make this book. No, in this case, the readers add to the story. The book changes in perspective with every reader, which this reviewer found an astounding achievement on the author's part.

For example, for this reviewer, the book represented countless lost hours trying to make the balances match, wondering if the suspense was coming from the suspense accounts and culminating in the mind-aching realization that a budget mishap was inevitable. For another reader, the book represented pure and simple hate. The reader confessed to us that he simply did not know what the big deal was with trial balances anyway. It's not like he was on trial or anything.

In terms of writing, the author unfortunately has failed. The reviewer could not for the life of him figure what he meant when he said, “goodwill is purchase price minus net asset taken over. Keep in mind long term liabilities are liable to be taken into account as well.”

The reviewer had to see a shrink after that. It was so mind-boggling. Of course some would argue that the author is writing beyond his time and even if he is not appreciated now, he will be in the near tax-induced future.

There are parallels that can be drawn from this book though. For one thing, one can truly understand why one's father almost balks every time the bank statement comes in the mail. And the author endeavours quite supremely to teach young kids the maxims of not borrowing so much that your liquidity goes haywire. This reviewer doesn't know what liquidity means but figures it has something to do with the intake of a lot of fluids at once.

Another achievement on the author's part is the setting. Most well known writers have confessed how the setting of the book is the most difficult thing to accomplish; this author on the other hand has nailed it.

The reader feels instantly depressed at the sight all those columns and numbers, and once you start reading the concepts that govern depreciation and whatnot, you feel that the world holds no joy. The reader can lose oneself in the myriad different ways a balance sheet can be screwed up to not match, and as you go deeper and deeper into the book, the feeling of never seeing the light of day again is so saturated into one's soul, that the book actually becomes the only companion in a hollow world. One can almost feel oneself going bald and becoming like those tetchy ledger-toting guys at the bank.

This reviewer got this book way back in grade eight when the pressure from parents and teacher alike forced him to take up more and more subjects. For those unwilling to read this book; boy, are you lucky. For those who already have this book. Sigh… This is definitely not a book to waste away idle time.

By Tareq Adnan
(da.phat.one@gmail.com)