Quiz for cats about humans

Your human walks into the kitchen. Does this mean?
a) It's hungry
b) It's lost
c) You're hungry
d) Let the begging begin

Your human puts down a bowl of food for you. Is this?
a) Supper
b) Something s/he obviously wouldn't eat
c) Something to keep you going till supper's ready
d) Inedible junk to be scorned in favor of what the humans eat

Your human removes you from the top of the television.
Does this mean?
a) You're in trouble - better not do it again
b) Nothing - humans do this from time to time
c) The human wants to play, so climb up again to amuse it
d) It is time to chew on the cable wire again

Staircases are for:
a) Getting up to the human's bed at 4am
b) Lying in wait in the dark at the top of
c) Walking down just slower than the human in front of it
d) All of the above

Your human talks/yells at you. You should:
a) Listen intently, even if you don't understand
b) Meow in acknowledgment and continue what you were doing
c) Ignore him/her completely; you're a cat, they mean nothing
d) Move on to the next annoying activity to encourage their talking behaviour

Phone and electrical cords and strings from fabrics are:
a) Important to humans and should be left alone
b) Playthings and deserve your total attention; no matter what damage may result
c) Annoying and should be removed immediately

Birds, small rodents and large bugs should be:
a) Ignored (especially if your human wants them removed)
b) Played with until they stop playing
c) Presented to your human as a proud trophy
d) Hidden under your human's pillow for safe keeping
e) Consumed for their nutritional value

A human giving you a bath should be considered:
a) Under no circumstances
b) Under no circumstances
c) Under no circumstances
d) An act of war
e) All of the above

Your human's value is limited to:
a) Providing food
b) Providing water
c) Letting you out
d) Providing opposite-gender feline companionship
e) Leaving you alone
f) All of the above; if properly trained

Comic relief

It may not appear to be such a grand ol' thing, or indeed, a very 'cool' thing to do, but comic book collecting is something… akin to a drug to the right person. (I would know, in a manner of speaking). To most of us, the first edition of the first issue of Batman may just be pieces of colourful paper with pictures of men in tights. But, really, these things are worth so much more than non-collectors know, monetarily and sentimentally.

These days, of course, it's all about Pokemon, Digimon or Duel Masters, but back then, in ages long forgotten, Pocket and Digital Monsters were probably not invented, yet. So people collected other stuff. Comic books, among other things.

Contrary to what the Simpsons TV series may depict, if you're a comic book collector, you are not necessarily, a) Uber-Fat, b) Uber-Nerdy, c) Uber-Sarcastic, d) Uber-Star Wars fan (not that this is bad, mind you), e) living with your parents at 45 years age. … And so on.

There could be pot-load of reasons why someone would go through the hassle of collecting comic books. One of the more basic reasons is that the collector is a fan of a particular series, and… let's face it, wouldn't you like to have in your possession something that you like/love very much? Be it TV Serieses/Movies, Music collections, Paintings and so on forth. It's really as simple as that.

Others may suffer from some sort of an idiosyncrasy which invokes in them the urge to collect all and any things collectible. People like this are usually rich and can obtain anything they want. It's easier to rip them off, too, you see. True collectors of any sort know what exactly to look out for. As it were, it wouldn't be entirely unlikely for a skilled seller to convince a n00b that a particular comic book is worth so and so, whereas, in reality it's utter junk. Such precedents aren't uncommon at all.

To an interesting point, Action Comics #1 saw the first ever appearance of Superman. Unbelievable as it may be, there's a bounty on this particular issue. Baltimore business executive, Stephen A. Geppi, has offered a reward of a staggering 1 million US dollars for a near mint condition of the issue. Still think collecting comic books is a waste of time, energy and- Heh- money?

Which brings up another reason why some collect comic books- Business.

A lot of collectors collect entirely for this monetary reason. They know that in the near, or slightly distant future, silly things like comic books, or in recent cases graphic novels (comic books aimed at mature audiences), can and will probably save him from complete despondency and poverty. Of course, comics aren't the only things that fetch baskets of gold and sunshine on rainy days. So, there are other methods, too. To each his own, as they say.

Some, being unable to afford the real deal on account of the endless number of issues or just due to unavailability, collects in the form of eComics. Like eBooks. Except, these are comics. (Remember… These things are usually illegal, unless, you own the original copy.) Nearly all sorts of comics from all over the world are available in this digital format, and it makes collecting, for the sake of simply collecting (which is a very common collector's reason), a lot easier. And reading, too, of course.

Some of the more commonly available series in Bangladesh are Asterix and Obelix, The Adventures of Tin Tin, Calvin & Hobbes, X-Men, Spider-Man, Batman, Superman, and so on forth, to name a meager few.

And of course, there's the super-cool classical Bangla comic book from our childhood- Chacha Chowdhury. How could we forget those timeless hero and villain, Shabu and Raka? Near immortal giants, both of them, with the later dying or being imprisoned in some way at the end of each issue only to be somehow reborn or escape the next. Now that I think back on it, I realize just how violent that series was- bullets, flesh and blood flying everywhere in a dance du macabre, hundreds and hundreds of death, each as gruesome and horrible as the- Er… Maybe, I shouldn't have read them at such an impressionable young age of 5, eh?

At any case, as a collector myself, and a fan of good literature in general (Yes! They are literature. Probably much more so than your 'deep' and 'meaningful' common hotchpotch), I can vouch to the fact that, for whatever the reasons may be, if you start collecting, or just reading, you'll have a helluva good time doing it. You can start with just a single issue and slowly build yourself up to the 'Comical Ladder of Truth', in the hopes of one day becoming one of the greatest collectors in the world.

Anyway, you go on then and start collecting. You'll have a lot to catch up to. Maybe, I'll see you in ten… fifteen years. In the Guinness World Record or somewhere, a rich old scrooge who collects comics. Go on, shoo.

By Emil

Slow stocks
My broker called me this morning and said, "Remember that stock we bought and I said you'd be able to retire at age 65?"
"Yes, I remember," I said.
"Well," my broker continued, "your retirement age is now 108."

Pooped
An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.
He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks.
Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar:
"He lives in a home with ten children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?”

Killer cook
It was World War II, and the captain was attempting to rally the GIs on the eve of a big offensive.

"Out there," said the captain pointing to the temt's opening, "is your enemy. The man who has made your life miserable, who is working to destroy you; the man who has been trying to kill you day after day throughout this war."

Private Johnson jumped to his feet. "My God; the cook's working for the Germans!"

The receptionist
A telephone repairman was working late in a big office building and became lost.

After a long search of the rambling first floor to find an exit, he spotted a woman at the end of a corridor. She was the office receptionist.

"Excuse me, can you tell me how to get outside?" he asked.
"Dial 9," she replied.

Every time JK Rowling gives an interview these days, she makes news. The Harry Potter saga still continues to generate hype even though the series has come to an end. Or has it?

The buzz is that there might be an eighth book to the series. At first it was supposed to be an encyclopedia of sorts with extra background information that never got written in the books and details of the characters of the series.This book was supposed to be for charity only.

In a recent interview, however, Rowling confessed that she sometimes has 'weak moments' when she reconsiders writing another Harry Potter book. She hinted that she just might write an eighth book, but not before 10 years, at least. If she does, the central character would no longer be Harry, because she feels that his story has been told. Who knows, perhaps we get to see how how all the second generation kids of the series are faring in Hogwarts. Sherlock Holmes, anyone?

By Anika Tabassum