The week in re(ar)view

Dodgy schools
The government is being deprived of huge revenue income from thousands of unregistered English medium schools that continuously dodge the aforementioned registration. They collect additional fees from students under VAT (value added tax) imposed in this fiscal year. Then there are the “donations” required for admission, the “development fees” for future campuses, fees for extra curricular activities and the list goes on.

According to the education ministry, there are around 18,000 English medium schools across the country with more to be launched. But only 625 such institutions have been registered under seven secondary and higher secondary education boards, Directorate of Secondary and Higher Education (DSHE), and Directorate of Primary Education (DPE).

Trampling the nation with oversized tires
The adviser committee on public purchase on October 7 approved buying 150 brand-new sport-utility vehicles (SUVs) for the upazila nirbahi officers (UNO) through state-owned auto assembling plant Pragati Industries Ltd.

That's good for the country as our local plant gets a lot of work for its employees. The Mitsubishi Pajeros each costing Tk 26 lakh were purchased without any tender.

The government will have to spend nearly Tk 40 crore to buy the 2400cc SUVs that are likely to be used in the upcoming elections, sources said.

Earlier, the establishment ministry had proposed buying 300 cars for the UNOs. The rest of the cars too will be bought within a short time.

By Gokhra and Mood Dude

RS Studios proudly presents, the never awaited, the very best game in the history of gaming experiences, the unpredictable….. The Make (that's the name if you're wondering). Comes from the Bhua Productions and packed with awesome graphics, sound effects capable of ripping your heart out, and gameplay so enjoyable that you'll either love it, or... well, you won't. Untitled: the Make is our first and latest project here at RSS, and we thought we'd design it in a way, for people to easily relate to, or something like that. We also couldn't think up a name. We were too busy making the best game of the universe.

Story: Your custom-made character starts off his journey on the night before Eid, where he can choose to sleep in early, stay up late, or not sleep at all. Basically, you get to do anything you like, or anything you would do in real life. Literally! Take baths (nudity not available, sorry), do last minute shopping provided you have the resources, commit suicide or even be a religious fanatic- like we said anything. However, your main objective will always be to extort as much money (specifically Eidee) as you can from your relatives and friends.

Sound: We didn't want to include any bad in-game music or stuff like that, because honestly, video games should be more about game play. Unless your character has an iPod or any other musical device around, you won't be grooving to any tunes. But if you listen hard enough, (provided that you're at the right place), and long enough, you can actually hear flies buzzing. Though, it might get annoying at one point due to the constancy of it, considering the setting is Dhaka, but we're not complaining; we've surpassed our expectations.

Video: Character and worldly depictions are surprisingly better than real life. The physics engine is designed to give you the ultimate in inhumanly immersive visuals; thanks to our literally inhuman animators and programmers. You'll need a very high-end graphics card to pull this through, though. Expensive as it is, it's entirely worth it. Of course, if you want you can always turn it down to your run-off-the-mill crappy visuals, but we don't recommend that.

Gameplay: This is mostly a role-playing game with elements of a third-person shooter, with skills like Extortion, Persuasion, Stomach Capacity, and so many others at your disposable ready to be used for all according purposes. Generally played in the third person POV, the view will change when needs must. You'll stumble along enemies now and then, for what game is a game without something to kill or obliterate with your Laser guns and ancient swords? Creatures may pop out of nowhere, such as lawyers out to rip you off from your Eid earnings, extremists who'll try to force their views on you, or the usual muggers in alleyways. How you escape (triumphant or otherwise) depends completely on you. For a change, we tried to let you be the boss of things. What's great is that you can totally relate to your own life and surroundings. Let's see Halo 3 do that!

Others: Since, the number of functions couldn't possibility be contained in a single keyboard or gamepad, we have our own specially designed controller that helps pull off all the above mentioned things. Everything in the game is controlled by YOU (Your Own Bandana). You wear the YOU around your head, and reminiscent of the Quest World, you log in to the game and start living your other life, with no restrictions whatsoever. Untitled: The Make is the best thing to have happened since the Big Bang.

Requirements: You'll need a powerhouse of a computer to run this game. It's more promising than any of the games released so far. We recommend one of the latest release of the RS processor chipsets with their clock speed of around 15 GHz. That is, if you want to pass the minimum requirements. 32 GB of RAM at 2024 MHZ bus is also a minimum requirement. A 6 GB graphical adapter should be adequate enough to run the game in low setting.

Conclusion: Something else recommend would be a willingness to abandon all semblance of life. You'll find yourself unable to quit the game. I mean, come on... It's real life. But so much better. Another recommendation is a strong stomach, as the YOU connects your virtual self directly to your real self, and if you find yourself crammed with horribly cooked food, your character will puke, and likewise, so will you...

By SS Emil

We have queues for everything. Go to a bank, post office, school, hospital even and you will be expecting to stand in long lines. Sometimes you need to stand in a queue just so that you can get into a queue. Passport offices are no different where you have to go stand in crushing queues one for renewal, one for making a new passport, one for the toilet and one for middlemen who stand in line for you.

To fix all this, the government has decided to open four one-stop windows in the capital under a pilot project to simplify issuing of passports to the citizens.

The Trust Bank, put in charge of this project, will operate the four outlets proposed for Dilkhusha Commercial Area, Dhanmondi, Gulshan and Uttara areas. Applicants will have to submit their forms depositing a service charge of Tk 200 and the usual amount of passport fees to these outlets under three categories-very urgent, urgent and normal.

The outlets will start functioning after Eid-ul-Fitr. Expect long queues under very urgent, urgent and normal categories.

From the RS Desk

After a most interesting Ramadan fraught with crazy weather and crazier traffic jams, we're now getting ready for the biggest celebrations in the Muslim calendar. As we count down to the big event, we're pretty aware that it's a battlefield, the last minute shopping, the hordes of mercenary salaami-seeking kids making the 'elders' break out in cold sweat, and what not. So this week, we take a break from the norm and bring you the ultimate survival guide to help you make it to the festival unscathed.

At the same time, we reminisce about how Eid has changed over the years and indulge in some sweet nostalgia, and we also look at this festival from the point of view of the non-Muslims.

Finally, here's wishing all our readers a very warm and heartfelt Eid Mubarak from the Rising Stars team

Cool Adda

Location: Public Toilet (this is for guys only!)

Stuff you need: a basket, some soap and if possible, then take some friends along

The Adda: Your first job would be to find a really nice good stinky public toilet, which I am assuming, shouldn't be too hard. Once you enter the delightful place, take a good look around. Take your time to let the beautiful sights (ahem!) and sounds (ahem ahem!) sink in. having done that, try chit chatting with someone who's standing beside you, doing what he's there to do (even though I doubt that people choose toilets above roadsides). He might be too busy doing his thing so he might not may attention to you. But do not give up hope. Remain rooted in your standing position, and wait as people come and go. Obviously some bored soul would be interested in talking! Later, Mr. Bored, all your toilet friends and you, could get into action. The plan is to become a millionaire. How you ask? It's quite simple. Just dig your hands into the toilet seat/pan/whatever (go real deep). Hours later, you will have uncovered a wide range of stuff: old combs, shoes, sunglasses, make-up (?) and all that you can dream of. And if you are lucky enough, then you might even find some diamonds and gold. You know how coal turns into diamond after millions of year's right? Well just like that, maybe some material might have turned into something equally precious, after being in the dark pipes for so long. Once you have collected all the valuables, wash them and put them into a basket. Set out on the streets and sell off the stuff and viola! You're a millionaire!

Pros: you make friends and you get to become rich

Cons: the process might cause you to lose your hand (the pipes are dangerous) and if not that, then you might fall into the commode and lose your life.

By Nayeema Reza