The week in re(ar)view

How to avoid being fined
The mobile court is swinging in full swing and all the medical diagnostic centres beware. Last week we mentioned two big shot names being fined and this week we have another. This week we have Compath Limited from Elephant Road making the grand entrance into this hall of shame. Charged 50000 taka for date expired chemicals/medicines and unhygienic environment as well as an unqualified and non-certified technicians and practices. Here's a bunch of excellent excuses we have cooked up so that people can avoid getting fined.

1. It's our personal museum where patients can see what old medicine looks like. Of course we don't use it on them.

2. We fill up the shelves with old medicine so that rats and cockroaches do not feel bored as they play hide and seek among the old boxes.

3. We are waiting for the country to build high tech waste disposal factories so that we don't throw these away and pollute the environment.

Crime deterrent
Dhaka Central Jail inmates have not been served any fish or meat or what usually resembles fish or meat since June. Apparently contractors hiked the price and jail authorities refused to pay. So now it's all rice and green leaves and 'daal' which they get anyway. In any case, the jail is not a good place for nutrition though it must be terrific for those looking for weight reduction.

Also according to a law amended about 3 years ago, the period of time spent behind bars before judgment is supposed to be deducted from the overall prison sentence but prisoners do not get this benefit due to red tape. As a result they serve longer times behind bars.

Now put together these two reasons should be something to think about as a deterrent for not committing crimes in he first place. But since real criminals hardly get punished, who cares?

Hunger striking can work
Apparently all the hunger striking performed by the teachers worked. Government announced it will provide 100 percent basic salary for non government teachers and staff as demanded as opposed to the 90 percent previously allocated. Imagine if others start using this method. How about rickshaw pullers asking for more money from the rickshaw owners. Hunger would make them weak and they can't pull in as much money each day. Or even hw about the prime minister and her gang going up to World bank authorities and demanding more money?

By Gokhra and Mood Dude

RS Mailbx

Really Regretful
In last weeks RS on the cover page, a pragmatic article about the overflow of GPA 5 holders in our country was published. The writer was absolutely correct in his thoughts but what seemed very funny was the mixture of english medium and bengali medium systems. I'm not sure whether the writer has a english medium background or not but I suspect so because everywhere he messed the "A" with "A+". In one place-he wrote, "For those people who got all A's in all their compulsory subjects are called 'golden GPA 5 achievers'. Actually what he meant was about getting all A+'s, isn't it?

Also, Shamma M. Raghib wrote a laudable interview of the band-AURTHOHIN. But when she introduced the current line-up, she wrote a word "base" for Sumon. I guess she meant 'bass' as we all know, Sumon is the best bass guitarist of our country and he is even called 'Bassbaba" for his talent.
Shoaib
276Elephant Road,Flat-3A
Dhaka

RE: Really regretfully
Mr. Shoib is absolutely right in pointing out that the A in his quoted line from last weeks cover article is actually A+. We apologize for the typographical error. We thank him for being such a critical reader for noticing such a mistake. However the A+ error reoccurred only once through out the article - not many times as alleged. The writer had made his point by using the phrase “GPA 5”. As for the second complaint, the writer has graduated from an English medium school, but isn't blissfully unaware of the whole Bengali medium system. If it was, his write up would have made no more sense than a three year old writing a biographical novel on Ernest Hemmingway.

Thanks to readers like Shoib we can continually work towards improving Rising Stars to provide you with more laughs and thoughts in the future. Keep the comments coming in!

Overflowing comments about overflowing GPA 5
This is to Reggie 'cause what he wrote last week is a total wish-wash and that little disclaimer can't save him from the things that he has stirred up. The nerve of him, you really must think we come from another dimension. Everything that us, the SSC GPA 5 achievers stood for now stands for complete 'scrap-material' thanks to that 'front-paged-cartooned-article'.

Take the 2nd Para of the write up- “Or whether this absurdly awesome result is only like inflation..” 'absurdly awesome', what type of words are those? It just wiped out and also at the same time insulted the solid ten years' of studying that all of us 'Bengali Medium Dorks' did and stood for.

Let me cut a beeline straight to the part where you have 'explained' about the grading system. Answer me this, before introducing the grading system in 2001, where did the optional subject's number go to? I think according to you it evaporated into the air. Before the grading system ever came into being, 40 marks from the optional subject was cut off and the rest was added to the total and for your information, the total marks then were divided by 8 not 9 thank you. (I must also point out, in case of HSC, it was divided by 10, not 12) In that time the 'buffer number' was there too and it caused the same 'inflation' to the total percentage of the SSC marks. The ones who passed then strutted around with the optional marks added to their total marks and nobody ever said what their marks really were without it.

An optional subject is made and taken to use like a helpline through out the world, it is there to be used as a 'buffer' for the compulsory subjects. If it wasn't there nobody would have anything to brag about. That reminds me, it is stated clearly in the Academic Transcript that we have received from the Board that all the SSC candidates starting from 2002 (and onwards) have had the benefit of the optional subject, so all those '330 heroes' in 2002 are really nothing to be bothered about.

Now for another point. “Even if you can't predict, SSC examinees study so much material that one of them is bound to come in common.” What the hell does that mean? We study to have commons, we read text books and more books just to make sure we're on top of any question that might be thrown at us.

Easy exams? Yeah if you can read then go and scrape out an old test paper and just go through all the questions of the previous 5 years. We fight from nursery to reach class-9 and work our heads and everything else along with it for the next two years to get a well-deserved result. But some complete nutter has to be out there to yell to the world that we get easy exams and have received grades that we don't deserve .

And the Essay-Pollution, this is a 250 words composition that has a single paragraph that states what Water Pollution is. If anyone can stretch that paragraph to write a 15 marks' worth Essay then s/he deserves 80% marks in English any day. And the teachers are there to predict, its their job to make the students be ready for anything, If they can make the entire thing easier then its an advantage for our sake.

The recent SSC examinee that you interviewed, pass this onto him, “Where do come from and where do you live? I think you live in Neptune and took a direct space route from there just before the day the SSC started.” The practical exams can never be taken in one's own school (except the Cadet Colleges). This is a board passed rule, anyone who has the routine from the board can tell you, its written on the back.

Nice cartoon Ronny, it represents all those Level-ers better. It represents those that don't know what going to school means after the 8th Grade. Also those who run around from one teacher and coaching centre to the other only to appear in exams that only constitute of two to three subjects along with an interval of six months for the next set of subjects.

You never gave out any real accountable information on this topic and all the things here get along the same line.
Iris Farina
Another 'recent SSC examinee'
Who passd in 2006 from HOLY CROSS GIRLS' HIGH SCHOOL.

Counter countering
I read the write up by Dark Lord, " A Counter to, A Counter to Girls in Pandemonium" and I really think that Adeeba and her friends deserved a good knockout. I enjoyed Adnan M.S. Fakir'ss write up and would like to say tip my hat's off to them.
Thank You,
By Fahad Saed

Slow Down
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

Rug Burned
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize that he had lost his cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense
pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself.
He got out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in.
"Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway."
"Now," she said, "if only I could find my parakeet."

Human nature
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying "Free to good home, you want it you take it."
For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal, looks to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read "Fridge for sale $5o". The next day someone stole it.

Driving styles
For years my husband denied he was an aggressive driver. That changed one day when we were out for a ride with our three-year-old, Matthew. Seeing a teaching opportunity, I began quizzing Matthew about traffic lights.
"What does a red light mean?" I asked.
"Stop."
"How about green?"
"Go."
"And yellow?"
In his best impression of Daddy, Matthew bellowed, "Hang on!"

Here’s this weeks best selling albums

1 Kotodeen Dekhini Tomay - Shafeen Ahmed
Shafeen Ahmed's First Solo Album featuring Original tracks and old bangle tracks.
2 Faisha Gesi - Hyder Husyn
One of the most Popular albums now and still going strong for a while. A must buy.
3 Ek Mutho Gaan-Bappa/Fahmida
The romantic pop album features duets and singles from the popular artists Bappa Mojumdar & Fahmida Nobi
4 Hridoyer Kotha OST.- Various Artists
The album features tracks from various artists.
5Oniket Prantor - Artcell
Artcell's second album Oniket Prantor had been one of the most anticipated albums of Bangladesh.
6 64m 53s - Arbovirus
Talented Underground band Arbovirus hits the audience with their great rock compositions and artistic lyrics.
7 Light Years Ahead - Stoic Bliss
Bangla RnB/Rap album with some bangle original tracks and covered tracks from these genera.
8 Shondha Tara - Kumar Biswajeet/ Tapan Chawdhury
The album with two top vocals featuring Bangla adhunik gaan.
9 Lampur Aloo - Dj Rahat feat. Tun Tun Baul
A Folk/Fusion album, strong with great folk lyrics. Remix done by Dj Rahat.
10 Maya - Habib
The great passionate fusion songs by Habib proving to be one of the most popular albums in Bangladeshi music industry.

Courtesy of Tunesbd.com