The week in re(ar)view

Begging as a profession
Report on February 7 states that 2500 beggars are going to work for a living. A jointly introduced micro credit project by Citigroup Foundation and Grameen Trust is going see to that. Citigroup Foundation will give $250,000 to Grameen Trust to offer interest free loans to beggars.

There is just one small problem with this. Beggars already work for a living. They beg. They even have a community that decides who can beg where, how and when. There are powerful beggars who communicate by mobile phones. Others rent out children to other beggars who can use them for drawing out your pity. It's a whole different job market in there.

Marching to a different tune
Meanings of phrases change as your power goes up. Long time back in the days of the dinosaurs, creatures used to march. When they said march they meant march. Dinosaurs had little power (or brains) so they actually marched toward the cold and froze to death.

People on the other hand are smarter and some have a lot more power. When they march it can mean many different things. For example, on the 4th of February opposition party supporters and members started marching towards the capital from all across the country. The least powerful ones marched in the true sense of the word. Going up the hierarchy marchers marched using bicycles, motorbikes and big trucks, cars and jeeps.

Oh yeah, and thousands of people were arrested by the government as a result. All this crazy arresting stopped thanks to a high court order.

Best comment we heard in a long time: “Government suffering form people-phobia” ~ Sheikh Hasina. It's so true and it applies for every political party tat comes into the government.

Buy one, get nothing free
This long overdue but there was a funny report in the pre-Eid days about a cow. No, the cow wasn't so funny but the marketing ploy used by the trader sure was. The trader was offering one free goat with the purchase of the cow. Land is sold with the incentive of a cheap TV and DVD player. Fancy shopping places offer free spice if you purchase a huge amount of money worth of goods. The disparity between what you pay for and what you get as a gift is also huge.

We wonder what new marketing ploy comes next.
Buy one locally made food item; get one dose of diarrhea free.
One silly column like this provided free with every issue of Rising Stars.
Muggers will offer one free knife stab with each personal item you lose to them. Hey that already happens.

By Gokhra and Mood Dude

Things NOT to do at a Job interview

A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations
asking for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants revealed the following low-lights:

1. ''... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.''
2. ''She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.''
3. ''A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece.''
4. ''... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.''
5. ''... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve''
6. ''Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.''
7. ''Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.''
8. ''When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.''
9 . ''At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went through his briefcase, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left.''
10. ''... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.''
11. ''Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much.''
12. ''While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold.''
13. ''During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.''
14. ''A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: '''Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?' I said, 'I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further.' He promptly responded, 'I
am as long as you'll pay me more.' I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer.''
15. ''His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.''
16. ''Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.''
17. ''... asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.''
18. ''Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk.''

RS Mailbx

Mail all your thoughts, queries, praise, criticism, articles and gift vouchers to risingstars@thedailystar.net

Loving Dhaka
The illustration printed on the cover of the February 2 issue was brilliant and so true. The artist managed to convey the soot, grime, dust, smoke and the Dhakaite attitude perfectly. But a question remains, with such a hot girl walking amongst these men, wouldn't they be looking at her instead of a kid walking by?
Shabab

Under normal circumstances all over the world men look at women gogin past. But here the sight of a boy proclaiming his love for Dhaka was so strange that poele momentarily forgot about the girl………..for all of 5 seconds. Then they all went back to noticing her just like you did.

Grave ROCKLINKING error
Reggie made a major boo-boo getting the names of the presenters wrong. But he was spot on with the rest of the comments. Despite being formulaic like any other music show the show rocked. The difference lay in the fact that it was our one and only very local rock show.

Reggies review was a bit confusing in the beginning though because it was hard to tell whether he liked the show or not (seems he DID like it). I on the other hand loved it although the music videos are sometimes typical. The only problem is that it is aired at an ungodly hour.
Ameer Sikder

RS is only music zone
RS is doing a brilliant job bringing us all the local music related articles. It seems to be the only magazine that focuses so much on the local underground music scene. Thanks for the cool reports, reviews and interviews. Could we have more, like a full centre spread on music?
Rezwan Kabir (beshi music pagol)

Yes, you can have more; no, you can't have a centre spread.

Jokes

A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against ... get this ... fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated

that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires."
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion.

The man sued... and won! In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the judge's ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires."

After the man cashed his check, however, the insurance company had him arrested ... on 24 counts of arson! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case

being used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning the rare cigars and sentenced to 24 consecutive one-year terms!

"No one appreciates the value of constructive criticism more thoroughly than the one who's giving it." --Hal Chadwick