The week in re(ar)view
Shake well before reading

Fuel prices are so high we decided to find alternative methods. Putting a cow in front of the car met critical acclaim from people but the cows disagreed. So here's an item we found on the net. Just wind up and go. Cows have expressed approval.

VIP crossing
It's been a week loaded with SAARC VIPs coming and going .As a result we the general public have stopped coming and going. It proves Newton's law where one action has an opposite reaction. Isn't it amazing how life keeps reminding you of natural laws of physics in strange an annoying circumstances?

VIPS have sensitive eyes
Sometimes when you just waste your time doing nothing you suddenly end up learning weird things that no one ever thought of. For example during one night near Farmgate the cops barricaded the side streets. This was to prevent anyone form moving so that the SAARC delegates could pass by without having to share the road with us lesser mortals. Now cars belonging to lesser mortals kept appearing at the scene. Funny thing was the cops were screaming at everyone to turn off their headlights. Cars could not even roll to a complete stop before the drivers were showered with abuse for laving their headlights on. Everyone wondered if they should be apologizing for driving in the dark using lights.

Of course, the cops wouldn't bother with an explanation. Our Resident Conspiracy Theorist (RCT) believes that some of the cars may be equipped with laser headlight beams that might cut through the SAARC VIP cars. It's almost as ingenious as Dr. Evils laser equipped sharks. Police intelligence (watching English movies) figured better to be safe than sorry.

Bottled electricity
We hand this news item completely over to our Resident Conspiracy Theorist.

A couple of weeks back there were a lot of hue and cry regarding lighting of shopping malls. Supposedly everyone was wasting electricity. Of course, if you stepped out into the streets during the SAARC meeting every single area was brightly lit. So where did all this electricity come from. It's very simple. Bangladeshi scientists have discovered ways to bottle electricity and then use it when and where required. This technology cannot be leaked because then all the villages will have power. Then the villagers will buy computers, log onto the net and get hooked to MSN chatting. They will stop working the fields and the country will become one big desert. But that's' not the real scare. The real problem is when the country becomes a desert the car dealers and petroleum suppliers in Bangladesh will go bankrupt as the scheming Arabs flood the market with low maintenance camels. The sneaky developed Asian countries will flood the market with vacuum cleaners to remove all the sand off the furniture. But that's' not the worrying issue either. The real scare is that warring Americans will create another Operation Desert Storm and then………………………..

Sorry, we had to shoot the Resident Conspiracy Theorists with a tranquiliser dart.

Awami League (AL) know magic
Back to real world issues, a November 11 report showed proof of AL having magical powers. Monga has been affecting some of our districts so badly that people have been going without food for days. AL promises to vanquish this if elected to power. Tis that season when political parties practice who can promise more.

By Gokhra and Mood Dude

RS Mailbox

Response to ourgaming machine buildup
Hi!
I'm an expatriate who's lived in Bangladesh for the past 2 years. Although I'm female-I'm a hardcore gamer and computer enthusiast.

I'm leaving Dhaka by the end of the month and will take back with me many happy memories of Bangladesh.

I read the article on PC Gaming rigs. Being a computer enthusiast, I was nonetheless worried that a completely clear picture was not being given on gaming--especially the parts such as the CPUs and AGPs--which might confuse many hardcore gamers.

Take for example the CPU. AMD Athlon 64 CPUs perform consistently better than Pentium 4s--on results of tests which anyone can look up at sites like Anandtech or tomshardware.com. An AMD Athlon 64 3000+ ( 1.8 Ghz)gives you 85.3 FPS on Doom3 at 1024*768 with a Radeon X800XT 256 MB AGP. A Pentium 4 3 Ghz gives you only 76.2 FPS. The same thing is true if it's Unreal 2004 or half life 2- I mentioned Doom 3 as it's a very demanding game and visually very stunning.

On a P4 2.66 Ghz the FSB is 533 Mhz. A DDR 1 400 Mhz RAM needs a P4 witha 800 Mhz FSB to operateotherwise it will operate at only DDR 333 speed.

Now in Dhaka one can get an ASUS 9600 Pro AGP for only Tk 8000. It's a much better deal than the 6500 Tk Radeon 9550 . The Radeon 9550's gaming performance is 63.9 % compared to the Radeon 9600 Pro's 100 % (normalized). The Radeon 9550 has a memory bandwidth of 6104 MB/s compared to the 9600's 9155 MB/s. The multi texturing fill rate ( Mp/s) of the 9500 is 1000, for the 9600 it's 1600. the core clock and RAM of the 9550 is 250 and 400 Mhz, for the 9600 it's 400 and 600 Mhz.

Regarding the Hard Drives--I have a Samsung 80 GB SATA and A PATA Hard Disk. I measured the transfer rates using SiSoft Sandra 2005-- I got virtually identical data transfer rates of 41-48 MB/s on both the Hard Disks--despite the fact that the SATA has a data transfer rate of 150 MB/s and a larger 8 MB cachein fact the PATA was faster on average by 2-8 MB/sthis with a data rate of 100 MB/s (UATA 100) and a 2 MB cache.

The power supplies that one gets with the casing in Bangladesh are not sufficient for giving continuous power to a really hardcore gaming rig--those power supplies cost between tk 2000-4800. Also, in this heat one needs an a/c room with a server casing to really keep the temperatures of the CPU/AGP/RAM/hard disk cool. Server casing's cost Tk 7000-14000 and are really important if one is to extend the life of the hard disks/cpu/AGP/RAM and one does not have the luxury of an A/C room. People do not realise the importance of temperature control--it really extends the life of the Hard Disks, RAM, AGP, even the CPU.

I have both Microlab and Altec Lansing 5:1'sboth give me virtually identical performance when paired with a SB Live 5:1 sound card or a SB Audigy 2 sound card. I have the emicrolab X4's.

Finally, ASUS DVD-ROMs may suck--but mine has given me great performance over the last 1.5 years--I've watched at least 150 DVDs, ripped 30-40 using DVD Shrink, played games etc--but it's still standing.

This article is by no means intended as a critique but only a honest appraisal of the way that things are in the tech world. You don't have to take my words at face value--but please check out the sites and measure the data rates using Sandra.

Thanks to all of you--and to the wonderful people here. It has been a lovely time.
Regards
Caprice Bourret

Ghostly giggles

1. What do short sighted ghosts wear?
2. What do ghosts eat for supper?
3. What do ghosts call their navy?
4. How do ghosts pass through a locked door?
5. What did the barman say when the ghost asked for a drink?
6. What do you call a wicked old who lives by the sea?
7. Why does a witch ride on a broom?
8. What do they call Dracula?
9. What's a vampires favourite tourist spot?
10. What kind of boats to vampires like?
ANSWERS:
1. Spooktacles
2. spook-etti
3. Ghost guard
4. They have a skeleton key.
5. “W e don't serve spirits.”
6. A Sandwitch
7. A vacuum cleaner is too heavy.
8. A pain in the neck.
9. The vampire state building.
10. Blood vessels.
By Tausif Ahmad

Essential Qualifications for a Dhaliwood Nayika

1. Be more than at least a hundred pounds
2. Waist at least 42” inch
3. Make sure you are ultra neka and exclusively tchechra
4. Act like you don't care when your fat is bursting out of your microscopic clothes
5. Have a strong butt so that you squash your hero when he tries to pick you up
6. Be ready to have very tough skin so that layer of cheap radioactive doesn't affect you
7. Be ready to shave your head if necessary (Mohila Mastan)
8. Make sure you can yell out loud when you are happy and/or sad
9. Be sure you can shower yourself with tears at any instant at any situation
10. Make you can't dance
11. Make sure you can lip-sing… at least at the starting of a song
12. Learn how to dance like when you have firecrackers inside your skirts
13. Be ready to learn to ride a horse if necessary
14. Whichever movie you do… be sure to be able to take the shame of a censored rape scene
15. Finally make sure your diet consists of at least 5 kg of meat, 12 eggs, 3 litres of coke and 3 tonnes of butter mixed with artificial colour and chemicals like all the other actresses. Not losing weight is of utmost importance.

By Adnan M. S. Fakir

Hollow
I stood on a mountain
and looked down below,
I was so high
yet I was so hollow;
I looked at the sky
It was still out of my reach,
It was standing on unseen pillars.
I wondered Who was holding it?
I wondered What was I missing?
Why I felt so unwelcomed,
as if the world did not contain me;
I seek for salvation in my vanity
I don't belong here
I am to be somewhere else
Do I see things clear?
I still stand on a mountain
and look down below,
Its the same feeling I have inside
that leaves me hollow.

Love by definition
The love of a child
The love of a mother
The love of a daughter
The love of a father
Love has so many facets it has so many colours.
Love is in the sky
love is in the rainbow
love is in the petals of flowers
love is in the sorrow
love is in the euphoria of a frail mother when she first sees her newborn child,
Love is in the tears of a triumphant mother when her son in war returns alive;
Love is in the hatred of Othello
and in the passion of Romeo,
Love is everywhere
Love is pure ,
love is devine
love is in the air
Love is forgiveness,
love is friendship,
Love is sacrifice
Love is in the wings of butterflies
Love is hope
Love is unconditional
Love is magical
Its a feeling undefinable

By Naome Syed