Dhollywood

(In Gigantic Proportions)

Well I know how much you people detest the title but someone has to talk about our already much talked about and despicable "Dhollywood". When was the last time you heard of a Bengali film being a hit or maybe when was the last time that you actually went to a cinema hall to watch a Bengali movie? Ages ago, right? Same here, but who is responsible for this mess? Why is our country lacking so much behind in this category, which can help the county's economy to prosper? Who else but the two words that I keep repeating the 'film industry!'

The film stars are hardly educated and sophisticated because if they were, they would have had the slightest sense of clothing. I can't figure out how those huge, titanic and hideous (no offence meant but the truth is out here!) actresses of our country are so zealous to dress up in the way they do, and they even consider themselves to have great figures! And even worse, I once read in this newspaper where this other actress commented about our great (Both literally and figuratively!) actress "Poppy" of having such an extraordinary excellent figure that it makes her (the one commenting) jealous! I guess they watch fashions shows where elephants and hippos are the models, not models with great figures. Actually I'm a little wrong about their clothing because the kind of clothes that they wear is almost tantamount to wearing nothing! Well who can blame them, since our climate is so unbearably hot. I agree with them that it's so hot nowadays that you simply can't bear to wear clothes. But I surmise the temperature is a little too high in FDC cause I don't remember seeing gigantic girls or rather women, running and jumping about in tang-tops and shorts in Dhaka city so often. Similarly I don't usually see a boy and a girl singing and dancing in the streets as they get mesmerized by those three magical words that they had uttered to each other, and voila! suddenly out of nowhere sonorous music comes floating in the air and groups of other people appear from all directions and start dancing with them! If this was what happened in reality then I guess everyone in Dhaka would have been dancing around by now!

Actually you see the film industry has forgotten the meaning of genders and their proportions. That's why we always discover the heroines to be 5 -10 times larger in shape and size in comparison to the heroes. The directors all the time make this small silly mistake by showing that the hero picks up the heroine and spins around with her (is that ever possible?), actually it should be the heroine who should pick up the hero since she has more weight I mean isn't it obvious!

And it should be the heroine who should rescue the hero, who should be screaming out for help saying something like "Baachaoooo Cherede Shoyatan", from the bestial villain. Because my fellow people how can the director be so harsh on the poor hero? He is such a weakling and so lame (even though he wears a vest under his see-through shirt!) and how can he possibly fight for himself and let alone rescue the heroine! Poor hero! I feel pity for him and wonder why the director doesn't feel the same.

I remember the other day I was switching through my TV channels when I abruptly stopped at ATN since I heard my mom call me from the other end of the house. It took me a while to gain my strength and get up from the bed. During this time I discovered this extremely talented 'rustic' director of our country was being interviewed and he was saying boastfully with much vehemence that he has got this huge project in his hand. This film will be hitting the theatres soon and he guarantees it will be a super hit and that it's a "Bhinodhormic cinema" (isn't that the same thing they all say?) and tried to sound very convincing. Trust me this guy doesn't even know how to sit properly on a couch, how to talk and let alone direct a movie! If such kind of people are directing movies then God help our film industry. Well, I guess even God's not interested since it has no interest in helping itself!

These people are so devoid of creativity that all they can do is copy Hindi films and Hindi songs. How can they be so complacent and confident about these movies? I simply don't understand how much effort does it take to write a song or a story of your own? Are our people so dumb that they can't even make up an appropriate story for a movie apart from this rich girl and this poor guy falling in love and their families not liking it and blah blah! For how long are the audiences going to accept such junk?

The most attractive feature of our 'beloved' movies are the titles of these movies. Well I compiled a few exclusively for you people in case you have missed some. The most happening ones are: Ek gunda tero panda, Kala kafon, Jinda dafon and the list can go on forever. There's another thing that really gets to me is why they ask us so many questions like: Baba keno chakor, shami keno ashami and what not!

Such titles are so intense and passionate that instead of attracting audiences it causes a repulsion which prevents the audiences from going to the cinema halls. Speaking of cinema halls these places have such a great environment and atmosphere that if you go there once you'll swear never to go again.

Anyway the world will keep on spinning with our heroes and heroines spinning in their own orbits which envelop Dhollywood. Lets just wish and hope that our favourite (?) Dhollywood doesn't remain as sleazy as it is now and lets just say one day it is gonna improve (am I nuts?).

By Shovon

Messy Thoughts

Well, there are times when I just feel like writing. However, when I sit with a pen and paper, I am just out of words! I do not even know what I am supposed to write about. I just can't simply think of a topic and write about because they become messy like my thoughts. Like now, I just feel like writing. However, I really don't know what I should write or what I really want to share with you or say to you.

Personally I am extremely messy and my sister is always at my back to fix my things up (oops!). Therefore, I am always very relaxed in the whole mess, with the thought that someone is there to fix the things up! Well, but poor me! My sister is off to her dormitory and I am left alone. Now none can make me fix the things up (the MESS). I always find a way out of it! Well, I think growing up is the worst thing in life. I mean you have to see things you should not see; you have to bear things you cannot resist. Opposing it means that you are different and different here means abnormal. You will be seen as a total maniac just because you wanted the things your way. Well, I guess that's what life is.

As I grew up, I mean everybody grows up, we learned about certain things like attitude (well, may be I am around people with attitude problem that is why I pointed this one first) not to mention all the good things also such as 'no LIES ever', 'controlling yourself' (even when the kid next door eats away your favorite chocolate). However, when you grow up you'll see hundreds and thousands people lying all the time and do feel ashamed a bit. You have to bear that because you have to be the good and nice one. Actually, I am in no control of myself. I might fall asleep sitting in my chair. I have this stupid headache for three days (trust me) and now it is increasing second by second. However, like I said I FEEL LIKE WRITING… BUT WHAT? That is the question!

So, have you ever thought of the psychological change that we have while growing? Like when you were a kid you used to cry for a candy or a doll you saw in the shop or a toy robot! There was hell lot of things you would cry for. And the happy times the smile would come so easily as if they didn't cost a thing. But when you are a teen you just can't be satisfied with all you have, you need to see more, you need to get more things!

You demand for them but when they are not easy to get, you just do something awkward to make it come easily. You don't cry, you know that you don't need to cry for that, but there are other ways. It's the age for the crushes and all those naughty stuff! Everyone is so much in love at that time (did I sound funny?). (I have to tell u this! I was just watching a movie that day where a guy asked his friend whether he believes in love at first sight. Without answering that, the friend asked the guy why cupid always carries an arrow! Guess what he said? He said, when u see that person the cupid's arrow pokes you into your eyes and blinds you and you just keep bumping into things rest of your life wishing to see again!) So, teens, now you know why love is blind, because as soon as you fall in love it means the cupid has poked your eyes with its arrows and that made you blind!

Falling in love is the sweetest thing on earth, also the most bitter one! While being a teen everyone has so much love inside, they are just so much in love, like that red heart keeps shimmering in their eyes(like the one in The Mask). I wonder how do all those crushes and love just vaporize as they grow older! Well, I guess that's human nature! No, not human nature. It's time; time makes them more sensible and responsible!

Actually time wouldn't be the appropriate word too! Then what the hell is that "THING" that makes them (I mean us) so sensible and so constrained? I get it! It is the surroundings, the society, REALITY, yes when they learn (or try to) about the reality, they learn to distinguish between right and wrong! They understand that they can't get everything they want, everything their heart would desire. They experience their life, life of the people around them and this is how they learn. From a restless, impatient teenager full of anxiety suddenly you become the temperate, calm and self-confident young man or lady! And it happens so fast but you won't understand because to yourself you are always totally normal! But soon you'll hear your mom or dad complaining about you, about how you used to be before- so lively and so close to them. Maybe you'll give that thought a shot too and find out "Really man…
.what the heck is wrong with me!" Time passes, they also get used to it! Your parents understand that their baby(or infant) (haa haa haa hee hee hee) is growing.

What happens next? You become more controlled, more realistic, more self-centered, more apart from your parents and your family. You are interested in other stuff rather than hanging out with your friends. You get interested in some more realistic things. Your heart would want to do something more useful (I do not know what that is). You think of building your career! Well, after that? You know! The same old story, you will get married, have children, they will also get apart from you too. They will also not think of you when you are always so concerned about them. This is life. This is GROWING UP!

By Someone Sweet

Oh no, the exams are over…

Hey mind you, I'm no nerd, nor an exam freak. Trust me, my mind has far better work to do than

working out a calculus problem or something. The tragedy is, the mischief brewer seems to have suddenly ceased just after the exams and now I'm left with precisely 'zero' productive ideas that could jolt my nerves with the slightest bit of interest. The simple fact, I'm BORED TO DEATH

Now my mom here shrieks out every time she hears this. "How can you be bored?" she says, "We never had computers or so many satellite channels to chose from, how did we spend our time …… go talk over the phone…read something …. tidy your room…." And then she goes on with her never-ending lectures…(yawn)

Now, did she say read? What have I been doing the past few months then? Ok, so she meant magazines and storybooks. Uhm, well, I've gone through all my new books during the exams, you know, covered under the physics book, while my mom was out there thinking, amar bhalo meyeti monojog diye porche (my goody goody girl, she is studying sooo seriously)! Oh come on, stop trying to give that angelic flutter, I'm sure I'm not the only one with such devilish ideas.

Strange as it may sound, even TV seems to have lost its fascination. It's not the same as sneaking out of your study to get a glimpse of your favourite TV show with the volume turned really low, is it? And then running back to your table like an innocent, four-eyed 'studyholic', at the slightest of suspicious moves from the next room…churi korar mojai alada!

As for talking over the phone with friends, we've no gossip in store at the moment. We've had so much of our "group discussions" at class and at home, during the exams, that we now have nothing to 'discuss' at all. No matter how serious a student you are, you must have had at least a few such experiences. Now for students like us, who realize at the very last moment that they have an exam the next day, these discussion classes turn out perfectly as longed for. We make sure the books are well forgotten in our bags before blabbering away on our topic of the day…..within minutes the room turns into a typical macher bajar (fish market)!

That leaves me with the 'tidying my room' thing. No one ever told me this was a sort of entertainment! Isn't enjoying supposed to be that what we should be doing after the exams (ugh) are over?

Hey I've just realized what I should do, something far from enjoying….I better run fast before my mom gets a hold on this article. Or she'll surely know the mystery behind my several Ds once the results are out…..so b-bye.

By Nazneen