Write to Smita

Write to Mita

Dear Smita,
I am a 30 year old man in love with a 16 year old woman. I am her Maths tutor and we have been having a relationship for some time. I wish to ask for her hand in marriage but I worry that her parents will say no. She is very much interested in marrying me. She is the love of my life. I cannot live without her. She is very beautiful and loving. What should I do?
Helpless

Dear Helpless,
What you just described is not love, its paedophilia. If you don't know the meaning of the word look it up I don't have the patience to explain it to you. You know what? I am sick and tired of you disgusting perverts sending me letters about falling in love with little girls and wanting to marry them. MARRY THEM? They're barely old enough to know a sicko when they see one! You don't need permission to marry, you need a therapist. Make an appointment with me so we can discuss this further and in the mean time, stay away from the little girl.

Dear Smita,
I saw a girl in Bashundhara City yesterday and fell in love with a girl I saw on the escalator. I went up to her and I told her that she should call me and I gave her my number, in fact I stuffed it in her shopping bag but she never called, she sort of ran away but I think she was in a rush. I don't understand why she hasn't called though. I keep going over the incident in my mind, I lose sleep over it. It's been a month and she still has not called! Why Smita why? What can I do to get her? I wait everyday at Bashundhara City for hours but I have not seen her there yet. I can't believe she hasn't called to accept my offer of love.
Romeo

Dear ------,
You're no Romeo, you have become a delusional mall rat. You handed your number to a completely unknown woman in the middle of a shopping mall without even so much as introducing yourself. Why do YOU think she hasn't called? Anyway stop wasting your time and go home and make an appointment with a good psychologist before you start running around handing out your bio data to strangers on the street. Don't make an appointment with me though, I can tell you're annoying.

Dear Smita,
I met a famous Bangladeshi actor at KFC a few months ago and he asked me if I am “Pom Gana,” (from Ghana) and asked if my mother is “Pom Rassia” (from Russia). Ever since then I have had a complex. Do I not look Bangladeshi? My friends tease me about this every day and they ask me if my dad married someone from Russia and had me in Ghana. The worst part is, this incident went viral a month ago and everyone who uses facebook or youtube knows about it! I hate my life. This actor used to be my idol and now he's given me an identity crisis. What should I do?
Not Pom Gana

Dear Not Pom Gana,
I worry about you. Not because you feel bad about being Pom Gana but because you call this man your idol. Really? I don't mean to be judgemental here but Really? Anyway, my assessment is that you have more than just a complex, you have developed a serious psychosis. I would advise you to stop watching this man's movies and take a vacation from your obviously pathetic life. Hey maybe you could go to Ghana, who knows, you might feel better about him thinking you're from there. Let me know how that works out. Ciao.