Write to Mita

Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a student of class eight. I am highly dissatisfied with my life. I feel that I am of no use and I cannot do anything in my life to make my parents feel proud of me. I don't get good grades nowadays, though I try hard. I feel underestimated and sometimes this makes me very depressed. My classmates are better than me in every way. They are more confident than I am and have more friends than I do. I wish to be like them. I want to be appreciated by people. The only thing that will make me happy is success in my life and most importantly in my studies, but that hardly seems to happen in my life. I want to be the best in whatever I do, but how? How will everyone like me and think that I am not useless?
Good for Nothing

Dear Good,
First you have to get rid of the “good for nothing” name you have given yourself. Please remember, no one is good for nothing as everyone is born with some talent, potential and can also learn skills. The more you think you are useless the more useless you will be. Getting reasonably good grades is not that difficult. All you need to do is concentrate and tell yourself that you can do it. Take some coaching help and assistance from friends.

Once you start to get good grades and demonstrate confidence you will get plenty of friends. Get into some extracurricular activities that you like, this will also give you confidence. Finally, all this is a part of growing up, no need to panic, this will pass.

Dear Mita,
I am a 26-year-old man from Chittagong. I have completed my LLM recently. I like a 19-year-old college student. She lives in Dhaka. We love each other. Whenever I get time, I go to Dhaka to meet her. But the problem is my family does not approve of a love marriage. I also do not know how her family will react to this matter. She wants us to settle in Dhaka after our marriage but at the moment this is not possible for me. I need some time to settle there. Besides, she is not well informed about my family because of our long-distance relationship. I have a plan to marry her within three years. However, I do not know how to bring the two families together to discuss our marriage. Please help.
Depressed

Dear Depressed,
You are an adult, educated and in love. What could be better? Why are you worried about what your family will do or where you will stay? The one thing of concern is the age of the girl. She is too young to decide on such a serious matter as marriage. She should be given more time and meanwhile she must continue her education. Where you live will not be an issue once she is mature enough to understand the commitment that one has to bring into a marriage. She will eventually agree to live in Chittagong for the first few years till you are ready to come to Dhaka. She is only 19 and might be reluctant to tell her family which is understandable. Go slow, I am sure things will work out.

Dear Mita,
I am a 15-year-old girl. Recently I have noticed that my behaviour, thoughts are changing. I do not know why I am behaving so strange. If my parents or friends say something rude, I get angry and reply harshly to everyone. I never behaved this way before. But day-by-day I am becoming rude. I am also bored with my studies. Though I want a bright future, I am becoming less ambitious. I am quite hopeless and confused with my life. How can I relieve myself from this situation? I have not discussed this matter with my parents yet.
Hopeless Girl

Dear Girl,
Please don't call your self “hopeless” because that is not what you are. You should never be rude or harsh with your parents no matter what they say or do. If you find their behaviour unacceptable then talk to them very politely and try to find out the reason for their anger. There must be something that is bothering you of which you are not aware. Try to find out what that might be. Being 15 years old is not easy as you are neither a child nor an adult. Adolescence is that time of life when everything seems difficult and complicated. This is a part of growing up and most people your age experience it. But please concentrate on your studies. This is the only thing that will sustain and take you to the next stage of your life.