In the land of fools

Tamanna Khan

You do remember the man from Jasimuddin's “Bangalir Hashir Golpo”? You know, the one who was so annoyed with his wife and daughter because of their foolishness that he left home in search of a country without fools. He arrived at a river and found two groups of men, each group at the end of a log, pulling with all their might on each side. When he asked them why they were doing this they glibly replied: to stretch the log so it could be used as a bridge. The man, decided his search was futile and so went back home.

That was Jashimuddin's fictional version. In reality, this enterprising man did not go back home. He got hold of a time machine and arrived in the year 2011.

When the whirlwind of ages came to a standstill, he found himself in front of a khal (canal), according to his definition. To his horror he found yet again there were groups of men on either side of the khal alias river. But this time there was no log. The men were just sitting around -- some had put up tents, there were also some make shift food stalls. Although no one was doing anything particular they put up a good appearance of being busy.

Our protagonist, being inquisitive as he was, asked one man the name of the place and what they were doing there. The first part of the reply confirmed that our hero had arrived at the same place he had left from. (He cursed the time-machine; perhaps it was a dui-numbar device). The second part was most stunning, for the response was “A bridge is being made.”

Looking all around him, our protagonist couldn't find any sign of a bridge or even the building materials. Puzzled, he continued his queries about the construction work. He was told that the actual work of building the bridge had not started as there was no fund. Since the responder appeared to be so knowledgeable, our inquisitive protagonist enquired about his role there. “I am the supervisor of the workers,” was the reply.

Bewildered, he could not help pointing out that there was no worker working on anything. “Yes, because they are not being paid,” explained the supervisor. “But, why aren't they being paid?” asked the inquisitor, not knowing what to ask anymore. “Because they are not working,” was the obvious reply.

Our time-traveller realised that the conversation like his own state, was not going anywhere.

So he moved on to another man who was standing beside a sign that said “OCAS”. The man gave him a sheepish look. “What is going on here, brother?” he asked with friendly warmth.

“Who are you? Why do you ask? Are you from the Bank of the Universe?” retorted the man by the signboard, with disgust. When the time traveller answered in the negative, the man continued to heckle him, “Oh then you must be a journalist, who can do nothing but make noise, because they are jealous of us — jealous that we understand the trade and earn more than they do with their nonsense blabbering.”

Bombarded with questions, the protagonist tried to explain why he was there. However, before he could introduce himself, the man standing by the signboard suddenly gave a Phillips 50-watt smile and grabbed his hand: “Oh you are a tourist then! Heh Heh. So you have come to see the Padma Bridge, eh? Here, you see, the bridge will run from this side to the other and it will have every imaginable facility…..” The man chattered away drawing imaginary figures in the air giving our hero a theoretical tour of the non-existent bridge in a non-existent tour-bus, tour-train, even a tour-speed boat. One of the now non-existent pillars would even have a mural of the minister who was supposed to start construction of the bridge, the astute tour guide said.

According to this smart guide, our time-traveller would be given a five star hotel by the river aka khal side, to stay. It would have 101 cuisine choices and fresh Padma fish fry. At the end of the imaginary tour, the guide handed him a huge bill. This was for the valuable information, he said. When our hero looked at the figure all he ran as fast as he could back into his time machine.

Luckily this time, he did not land in the same place (he thought at the time), for there was no sign of water anywhere. However, there were people and a lot of noise. He saw that a huge cement and metal rectangular structure was hanging by ropes, tied at two ends, from a couple of strange looking flying machines. The flying machines were going up and down and sideways. The people below were watching the action with immense interest. Our nosy time traveller approached a spectator and asked the name of the place and what was happening there.

To his utter dismay, the spectator announced: “We are trying to set up the Padma bridge.”

“The Padma bridge? But, I do not see a river,” he exclaimed. The spectator replied matter-of-factly that the river had dried up a very long time ago. “Then why do you need the bridge?” The traveller asked in bewilderment. The man explained that a huge amount of funds had been collected over the years and it was spent in building the most high-tech digitally advanced hanging bridge ever to be built in the history of the world. Since the bridge was now ready it had to be set up, despite the fact that it was no longer needed.

When our seemingly confused traveller tried to understand the role of the flying machines, he was told that since it was a hanging bridge, the flying machines were trying to hang the bridge from the sky. However, they had yet to find something up there to hang the bridge from.

By then our protagonist, who had left home in search of a fool-free country, had had enough. So he decided to kill himself by jumping into the river. Since there was none, he kept diving into the sand, again and again and again.

---