Law amusements
Some absurd things ever said in court
The following questions were actually posed by real-life lawyers and are taken from official court records.
Now, in all fairness to the poor lawyers immortalised below as unintelligent, readers should be aware that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that the slightest inadvertence is on record for posterity.
* Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
* I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
That's me.
Were you present when that picture was taken?
* Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
* Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
By death.
And by whose death was it terminated?
* Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
I'll be three months on November 8.
Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
Yes.
What were you doing at that time?
* Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
I used to be.
How many times have you committed suicide?
* So you were gone until you returned?
* She had three children, right?
Yes.
How many were boys?
None.
Were there girls?
* You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
Yes.
And these stairs, did they go up also?
Have you lived in this town all your life?
Not yet.
All you responses must be oral, ok? What school did you go to?
Oral.
Source: www.duhaime.org.
