Law & Our Rights

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<%-- Page Title--%> Issue No 118 <%-- End Page Title--%>

November 30, 2003

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Over a century ago, a British judge was late for court so he hailed a cab and told the driver to take him to the Royal Courts of Justice.
"Where are they," asked the driver.
"You mean to say that you don't know where the law courts are?" asked the judge incredulously.
"Oh! The law courts," replied the driver. "But you said the courts of justice."

*****

In an action being argued before a judge, a lawyer addressed the jury for a very long time. At one point, the judge could not help himself but to remark: "Sir, you've said that before."
"Have I, my Lord?" replied the lawyer. "I'm very sorry. I quite forgot."
"That's ok," replied the judge. "I forgive you as it was a very long time ago."

*****

Many years ago, when the death penalty by hanging was still in vogue, a doctor was giving evidence before a judge who had already heard contrary evidence from other doctors. The judge asked the doctor if he was sure of his testimony in light of the evidence from the other doctors.
"I am quite certain, my lord," said the doctor.
"Doctors sometimes make mistakes," said the judge.
"Lawyers do too, my lord," came the retort from the witness.
"Ahh, but doctors' mistakes are buried," answered the judge.
"That is true, my lord, but lawyers' mistakes frequently swing!"

*****

One judge became frustrated with a lawyer's arguments and he pointed to one of his ears and then to the other and said: "what you are saying is just going in one ear and out the other."
"My lord," replied the lawyer, "I do not doubt it. What is there to prevent it?!"

*****

"Your lordship," pleaded a witness. "You may or may not believe me but I have told the truth. I have been wedded to truth since infancy."
"Yes," replied the judge, "But how long have you been a widower."

*****

The word "Devil's Advocate" actually comes from Canon Law. In the Vatican, when arguments are being presented to have a person declared a saint, the Church appoints an official to find flaws in this evidence. This official is called the "Devil's Advocate" and has come to mean a person who espouses a cause just for the sake of argument.